American Road Minute

2007-02-09T15:05:00.001-08:00

Aaarrrrrggggggghhhhhhhh... I upgraded to the new blogger. Big Mistake. The third party tool I use to post to all my blogs doesn't work in the new blogger. And the developer isn't planning on upgrading it. So, I found another tool to do that, so they say, but it doesn't work (just one teensy problem).

Until I can figure it out, please visit my blog at www.patsyterrell.com/blog.htm. I will be doing that one by hand in the short term. If I don't find an answer for this soon I will have to decide wether or not to continue or to abandon this because doing it by hand is VERY time consuming. However, I'm hoping all will be resolved soon.

In the meantime, visit at www.patsyterrell.com! :)

2007-01-24T21:15:00.000-08:00

Babies and Birds

This evening I went to go see Diana's new grandson, Drew Emerson. He was born Sunday morning at 2:08. Diana called me about 15 minutes later to tell me the news. I am so excited for Taylor, Tom and big sister, Lily - not to mention grandma Diana. Drew was 7 lbs. 3 oz. and 19 1/2 inches long.

I called Sunday afternoon to find out what his name was. The middle name, Emerson, is after Ralph Waldo Emerson. They decided that was a better choice than Ralph or Waldo. I think Drew Waldo does have a certain ring to it, but I've always heard you should name your child something you want to be screaming for the next couple of decades. As in, "Drew Emerson, you get in here this minute..."

I was dying to go see him, but figured there would be a ton of people at the hospital. Come to find out, there was NO ONE there all afternoon. I could have been holding that baby for hours!!! I do so love little tiny babies. Oh well. But, I got to hold him for a bit this evening - fun, fun, fun.

This day didn't go the way I had planned it. What is it they say about the best laid plans? Yadda, yadda, yadda. But, it was a good day - just not the day I had planned.

Trish and I had planned to have lunch today, and then it was going to be Trish, Teresa and I. But, Susan called and was just passing through town and wanted to know about lunch. Well, I don't get to see Susan very often so let Trish and Teresa lunch together and I went to see Susan. Hopefully I'll get to see both Trish and Teresa yet this week.

It was nice to see Susan. I sure miss her being in town. But she likes her life in Valley Falls, so you can't argue with happiness.

I had a long list of MHA things to do today and got through at least part of it. Shortly after work, I met Greg at Carey Park where he was shooting some Lope pix. Blogging The Lope requires constant attention.

Ace Jackalope is decked out here in his red suit, and feeding the ducks and geese bits of bread. Greg, of course, has the job of capturing it all.

We stayed until the setting sun told us it was about to get very chilly out in the snow.

2007-01-24T14:33:00.000-08:00

Looking Back

"It could last six days, six weeks. I doubt six months." Rumsfeld talking about the war in Feb. of 2003.

2007-01-23T15:37:00.000-08:00

How to Meditate Podcast

Art of Gracious Living #58
Happiness Series - Part 3 of 4 - Meditation

Science has proven that meditation will increase your happiness level. Today's podcast is about various meditation techniques and ways you can incorporate it into your daily life.

This is the third of a four part series.

The blubrry player will open in another window and allow you to choose which episode you want to hear. The most recent will come up automatically.

2007-01-23T14:11:00.000-08:00

The Lope is Famous!

The Lope is getting more famous by the day!

http://www.cnn.com/exchange/blogs/notebook/

2007-01-22T10:09:00.000-08:00

If Everyone Cared by Nickelback

Lately I've been really impressed with Nickelback's "If Everyone Cared." Maybe it's because I want to live in that fantasy world, and maybe it's because I love the fact that younger people appreciate this sentiment.

I came of age in the early 80s. It was a horribly embarrassing time as far as music goes - hair bands and Madonna - long before she became anything resembling socially responsible. We all have to grow.

I'm encouraged that a song about peace and caring can rise on the charts.

If everyone cared and nobody cried
If everyone loved and nobody lied
If everyone shared and swallowed their pride
We�d see the day when nobody died

What a simple message. I hope the upcoming generation "gets it" because my generation certainly didn't. Some of us did, but enough of us didn't that we're at war again. Maybe "getting it" on a large scale requires growing up in a time of war. How unfortunate.

I was too young when Vietnam ended to really comprehend politics and by the time the first Gulf War started I was plenty old enough to know it was about oil and too young to understand how to do much about it. I guess age doesn't matter because I couldn't figure out how to stop "oil war #2" either.

Ultimately, enough people in any generation have to "get it" to elect people who won't start wars. We're not there yet. Maybe the next generation will be.

I don't meet many 20 somethings who are gung ho on war. Maybe when you're the age group dying you feel a little differently about it. I know there are some, but they seem to be in fewer numbers.

At some point we're not going to have enough people to fight wars without a draft. Frankly, I'm eager for that day. If we had a draft, and *anyone's* kid could end up being killed in Iraq (or fill in country of your choice), we'd be out of the war business in the blink of an eye. There wouldn't be any discussion about the best way to get out of Iraq, we'd just be out. And we'd be a lot less cavalier about starting more wars.

Back to the song... If you haven't seen the video, it's well worth catching it. I'm sure you can find it online.

Nickelback lyrics

If Everyone Cared

From underneath the trees, we watch the sky
Confusing stars for satellites
I never dreamed that you�d be mine
But here we are, we�re here tonight

Singing Amen, I�m alive
Singing Amen, I�m alive

If everyone cared and nobody cried
If everyone loved and nobody lied
If everyone shared and swallowed their pride
We�d see the day when nobody died
And I�m singing

Amen I, I�m alive
Amen I, I�m alive

And in the air the fireflies
Our only light in paradise
We�ll show the world they were wrong
And teach them all to sing along

Singing Amen I�m alive
Singing Amen I�m alive

If everyone cared and nobody cried
If everyone loved and nobody lied
If everyone shared and swallowed their pride
We�d see the day when nobody died
If everyone cared and nobody cried
If everyone loved and nobody lied
If everyone shared and swallowed their pride
We�d see the day when nobody died

And as we lie beneath the stars
We realize how small we are
If they could love like you and me
Imagine what the world could be

If everyone cared and nobody cried
If everyone loved and nobody lied
If everyone shared and swallowed their pride
We�d see the day when nobody died

We�d see the day, we�d see the day
When nobody died
We�d see the day, we�d see the day
When nobody died
We�d see the day when nobody died

2007-01-21T22:34:00.000-08:00

Broken

Greg and I had a long talk tonight about people who are "broken." We both know some of them, although few who are up close and personal in either of our lives.

Greg is more accepting of such things than I am. Maybe because Greg is a stronger person. I know I cannot have that influence in my life. I am barely holding my own broken self together most days, I can't take any responsibility for anyone else. And I can't risk any unravelling.

While we were talking I looked down at my middle finger on my right hand. Although it's not something most would notice, it is crooked, and it's a continual reminder to me of how broken I am.

I fell when I was in 5th grade and broke my right wrist. Unfortunately, I also dislocated a number of the bones in my fingers. In one of those amazing by-the-grace-of-God coincidences, the ER doctor happened to be a specialist in setting bones. They worked for some hours to get all my finger bones back in the right places, and they did an amazing job, although they don't all bend and line up perfectly.

The family doctor, where we'd gone first, had told us my hand might never grow again. At that point I started to wail. I was young, but I knew that would be a bad thing. My mother told me later that while standing behind me the doctor mouthed, "it won't."

So, during that 45 minute drive to the hospital my parents were assuming my hand would never grow again. It must have seemed incredibly tragic to them, to have their child hurt and perhaps permanently damaged. I think one of the things that has always struck me about that trip is that it was the only time my father was ever involved in my medical care.

But, in one of the many ways in which I've always led a charmed life, my hand did grow to an adult size. My slightly twisted middle finger - the tip leans to the right and the lower half to the left while the middle knuckle is enlarged, and my fourth finger that overlaps that one slightly at the tip - remind me of being broken. Some kinds of broken are things you can see and some are things that are invisible. At least we try to keep them invisible.

When I catch one of those talk shows were the seeming dregs of humanity air their dirty laundry, all I can think about is the ways in which those people are broken. They don't live their lives that way because it's what they want, it's because it's the only way they know. They are broken. They are broken in ways we don't have a clue how to fix.

The really frightening part of it is that it's not just TV. We walk amongst people every day who are broken. We may not notice. And if we do we may not do anything more than note it and move on. What can we do, after all? And, ultimately, we're afraid it's catching. Most of us have spent the last few decades patching our own broken selves together and some of those patches are holding better than others and we're not risking anything tearing them off.

People get broken in lots of ways, but much of it happens in childhood and it's with us always. You never do get "past your raisin'." I think it's one reason I never wanted to be a parent. It scared me to death to think I had to try and get another human through the trauma filled time of childhood and adolescence - and that's before you even get to the daily pressures of being an adult.

Kids are physically knocked around by adults, and their fragile egos are damaged with words and actions - from adults and peers. They are sexually abused and emotionally abused. They are left out and left alone and left behind. And we chalk it all up to "growing up" and "kids will be kids" and "kids are resilient." We give a lot of lip service to protecting our children, but we do very little real about it. Of course parents try, but some things are beyond our control. Lots of things.

When I see a woman who's hopping from one bed to another I know it's not because she loves sex so much. It's because sex is her currency. When I see a young girl who wants desperately to have a baby I know it's because she wants to know what love feels like. She thinks that maternal instinct will kick in and carry her through and she's finally finding the love she's been longing for her entire life.

When I see people who thrive on crisis I know it's because it's what they know or it's because they know it will make someone rush in to "save them" and they want to feel worthy of being saved. We've all been there and done that. Some of us do it occasionally in weak moments, and some of us do it because we truly have troubles over which we have no control, and some of us make it a lifestyle.

I have always known how fragile a "stable" life is. We all work hard to build them and don't acknowledge how little we really have to do with it. All around us others have lives that aren't so stable, because they had different parents, or different friends or different thoughts.

One crisis leads to another and lives spiral out of control. People grow up seeing no way to lead any other kind of life. People make bad, or mediocre, choices because they don't even understand there are other ones from which to choose. People want to be loved and don't know how to be loveable. People have accidents, they have illnesses, they have misfortunes.

We're all walking around broken. It's just a question of if they're things we can see, like long ago fused finger bones that aren't quite right, or things we keep hidden. We can't keep the symptoms hidden, however, and they manifest in dozens of different ways. We make bad choices in men, in colleges and in jobs. We don't know how to negotiate the politics of the workplace, or the delicacy of a relationship.

But, most of us learn to function. We figure out how to work around our broken parts. Even if we can't heal them, we apply a permanent ace bandage and only fall apart when it's necessary to change it. We do whatever is necessary to keep ourselves together. And we keep quiet about it.

A few years ago, very late at night after a bottle of wine, lying in our Paris hotel room, my friend Matthew turned to me and said, "You know, you seem to be keeping a lot of things 'under control' all the time." It was one of those things people only notice when you're far from home and away from what's familiar, or maybe it's only when you've had a bottle of wine. Or maybe it's because you only share your broken parts with someone you'd also share a Parisian hotel room with.

Whatever the reason, it's always frightening to know that others can spot your broken parts. You just hope they're impressed by how well you've patched them up instead of horrified by what they've made you do. I didn't ask Matthew which category mine fell into.

2007-01-20T16:27:00.000-08:00

Roys on a Snowy Day

Yes, it's true, after getting groceries I met Greg at Roy's Barbecue. He snapped a pic of me making my way in through the snow. We're either devoted or stupid. It was good, as always.

2007-01-20T13:22:00.000-08:00

Clueless Weather Forecasters

A snow plow is a welcome sight in Hutchinson today. We are getting snow - big, wet, fluffy snow. It's actually quite pretty.

Originally it was going to be at 6 p.m. today that it started. Then it was the afternoon. Last night at 10 p.m. on the news it was going to be at noon today. Well, sometime between 7 and 8 a.m. it started pouring out of the sky. It has not slowed all day.

At first we were getting 2-4 inches, then it was 4-6, then 6-8, now it's 8-12 inches.

I wish they would either learn to actually forecast the weather or stop pretending they know how. My plan was to go out this morning and grocery shop. I did, but my footsies got very wet because the snow was going over the top of my shoes. You know, that snow that wasn't starting until noon. Yeah, that snow.

Greg has arrived back in Hutchinson and I'm so very glad he's safe and sound. He, believing the forecast, left this morning, only to have to drive in snow and ice a large part of the way.

As I said to Mark one time. Weather forecaster have viper and doppler and 3d radar. They only thing they don't have is a clue.

I'm settling in for a weekend of relaxing at home. Thankfully I have everything I need to be comfy, as long as the power holds out.

2007-01-20T12:48:00.000-08:00

Hillary is In

Hillary Clinton has made it official - she's in the race for President. I was hoping for a Hillary-Barack ticket - maybe it can still happen.

She is an early favorite for the nomination, with a substantial lead over the others who have announced their intentions. She, of course, is also an exceptional fundraiser, which is an essential.

She is favored by 49% of democratic women and 29% of men. I think women are ready for a woman in the white house. Women make less war - it's a huge incentive right now.

Not surprisingly, the people who make babies are less eager to kill them.

2007-01-19T22:09:00.000-08:00

An Inconvenient Truth

This weekend is Global Warming Awareness Weekend in Hutchinson, Kansas. Officially Global Warming Awareness Weekend - city proclamation and all.

One of the central parts of the weekend is three showings of "An Inconvenient Truth," Al Gore's documentary. It's free all weekend, showing at 7:30 p.m. Saturday and 2 p.m. Sunday. Sunday afternoon they're having some additional programs, including a lecture.

Tonight Teresa, Diana, Brad and I went to see it. We were supposed to meet Cleta there, but I never found her. We ran in to lots of people we knew, of course.

Brad had seen it, but the rest of us had not. It was interesting, but also terrifying. Good grief, what a mess we've made.

I emailed about 60 people about the movie. About a dozen had plans at one time or another this weekend to go see it so hopefully they'll have a good turnout each time. There were plenty of people there tonight.

James and Betty Taylor have been instrumental in making this happen. They are so devoted to the projects they're interested in. I'm very impressed with what they've done in this case.

Teresa and I went to get a bite to eat afterwards and we were both in shock from all we had learned. Although I knew the basics, there was plenty of new information for me there.

What can you do?
1. Replace all your regular lightbulbs with energy efficient ones - if we all did that one thing we'd make a huge difference.
2. Recycle as much as you can.
3. Get others to see this documentary.

Well, I'm going to go turn my thermostat down and go to bed.

2007-01-18T23:19:00.000-08:00

Creative Projects and Creative Sisterhood

Last night I went to Diana's store to make vision collages. It's something we have heard about from multiple sources, but haven't done.

Debbie, Diana, Austin and Amy and I were there. I didn't get one made, but I found some photos I liked.

What I really want my collage to be is about making a living being me. I'm just not sure exactly what that looks like, yet, which is probably why I couldn't illustrate it with a collage yet.

Making a living being me is my number one priority. I want to get up every day and do the things I am prone to do anyway, and have that be my living. I need time to devote to my creative pursuits.

Tonight was Creative Sisterhood and it was a really great evening. Julie wasn't here but everyone else made it.

My topics were my recent job evaluation and also my trip to Texas, and how both of those have affected me and what my next step in life should be.

It was a wonderful gathering. In January we always go through our jar. Each month we write, if we want, a thought on a slip of paper and leave it in the jar. January is our time to go through it.

I was surprised tonight that it has been less than a year since some really major things happened in my life. Time seems to be moving more slowly, and I like that. I like to savor life.

2007-01-18T22:45:00.000-08:00

Catching Obesity

Lately there is more and more research about obesity being tied to a virus. It's mentioned in the Oprah magazine this month, and this is an article from Scientific American online. I provided a link below, but in case they take it down, I'm copying it over.

Some of the people who have been found to have antibodies to these viruses also happen to have low cholesterol and triglyceride readings.

We also know that if you take a person who is thin and a person who is heavy and monitor their food intake and exercise that the thin one will gain less weight than the heavy one. We don't know why, we just know it's true.

The idea that people could "catch" being fat is no doubt terrifying to many.

-----------------------
From Scientific American:

New study results bolster the controversial hypothesis that certain cases of obesity are contagious.

Over the last 20 years, some research has suggested that certain strains of human and avian adenoviruses--responsible for ailments ranging from the chest colds to pink eye--actually make individuals build up more fat cells. Having antibodies to one strain in particular, so-called Ad-36, proved to correlate with the heaviest obese people, and in one study, pairs of twins differed in heft depending on exposure to that virus. Now researchers have identified another strain of adenovirus that makes chickens plump.

Physiologist Leah Whigham of the University of Wisconsin-Madison and her colleagues inoculated young male chickens with three strains of adenovirus--Ad-2, Ad-31 and Ad-37. She and her team then monitored the chickens for three and a half weeks, recording their food intake throughout. Though the infected chickens and noninfected controls consumed the same amount of food and were exposed to the same conditions, chickens carrying Ad-37 were found to have nearly three times as much fat in their guts and more than two times as much fat over their entire body at the end of the three-and-a-half week period. The other two virus strains appeared to have little effect on weight.

"Ad-37 is the third human adenovirus to increase adiposity in animals, but not all adenoviruses produce obesity," Whigham and her fellow authors write in their report presenting the findings in the current issue of the American Journal of Physiology. Although it remains unclear exactly how Ad-37 adds fat, it joins a growing list of such viruses, including canine distemper, Ad-5 and Ad-36.

Ad-36 has been shown in an in vitro study by researcher Nikhil Dhurandhar of the Pennington Biomedical Research Center to help human cells go from having the potential to store fat to actually storing it. "I am not saying that all obesity is caused by viruses," Dhurandhar notes. "Obesity has multiple causes and viruses may be one of those causes."

Next up for study, Dhurandhar says, is the exact mechanism by which a virus could lead to obesity. This, in turn, might lead to a vaccine that could prevent Ad-36 infections. "We hope to identify the gene or genes that could be responsible for its adiposic effect," he explains. "The long-term goal is to see if we can prevent adenovirus-induced obesity."

Whether or not hand-washing will help with weight management remains to be determined. But two researchers shared a Nobel Prize this past year for their work in uncovering the bacterial root of some ulcers after years of consensus that stress caused the uncomfortable stomach affliction. "It makes people feel more comfortable to think that obesity stems from lack of control," Whigham adds. "It's a big mental leap to think you can catch obesity."

http://www.sciam.com/article.cfm?articleID=000EEADC-A456-13DA-A45683414B7F0000

2007-01-17T23:46:00.000-08:00

Petition

http://www.tedkennedy.com/page/s/ourdecision

You can sign a petition to support Ted Kennedy's legislation regarding escalation in Iraq. It states that any substantial new commitment in Iraq requires a plan from the administration and explicit authorization from Congress.

2007-01-16T22:16:00.000-08:00

Clearing

I am in a clearing out mood - a major mood. Tonight I've discarded clothes, furniture, momentos from old boyfriends, magazines, bed linens and a few other things.

I want my home clear of all negative energy. I am making room for new, positive things to come into my life.

I always know when I'm really ready for this sort of thing - I feel no pain over tossing things I once treasured into the trash. Such is the case tonight with things I once loved from people I once loved. C'est la vie.

It will not be much longer until I start clearing out people. That's always the final part of one of these moods.

2007-01-16T21:24:00.000-08:00

Patsy's Studio

Well, I just ran across this an art community online and decided to join. The first task is to get your studio ready, and to post some pix of it. Everyone is talking about how messy theirs are. Having no shame, I posted the following:

I am not posting pix of my studio yet because I can't even get in there to take one. How's that for messy? I have been trying to motivate myself to work on it so this is a good push to do that. I will post pix as soon as I - and a camera - can get in there. At the moment it just looks like a storage facility, which is what it basically is.

I had my hardwood floors refinished and used the studio to store furniture and such because I wasn't having those floors done - too much fun to slop paint all over the ugly tile in there.

OK, so that sounds like such a reasonable, logical excuse for a messy studio, Right? Well, here's the rest of the story, as Paul Harvey would say - I had the floors done in August. Of 2005. Now that it's 2007, that sounds like a very, very, very long time ago.

I have been thinking for a couple of weeks that not using the studio has been making me cranky. So, all the more reason to get it useable. No one likes me cranky - esp. not me.

Perhaps my role here is to make everyone else feel better about themselves.

2007-01-15T20:26:00.000-08:00

Phone Shopping

Although it was officially a holiday today I did work, including a speech this evening. But, I also got out and did some phone shopping.

I have to replace my cell phone. Yet again. I am so weary of the yearly cycle of choosing a new phone. They're all crap. I take pretty good care of my phones and at about a year old they start to lose signal more and more, and it just keeps going downhill from there.

Of course, they say the phone is fine and they say their signal is fine. Then, just about the time the phone is out of warranty, the phone suddenly has a problem that didn't exist the week before. Magic how that happens. Repeatedly.

I want a phone that places and receives calls - and does those two functions incredibly well. I don't need my phone to take photos, read email, surf the internet, play games or listen to music - I just want it to place and receive calls reliably. Unfortunately, those seem to be little more than ancillary functions anymore.

As if phone shopping were not annoying enough, today I had to deal with Jessie. The girl was totally clueless. All of that gum smacking must have killed some brain cells and this chick didn't have any to waste.

2007-01-14T00:51:00.000-08:00

Capitol Steps

Saturday evening I got to see the Capitol Steps at the Fox Theatre. I had seen them before when they performed as part of the Dillon Lecture Series a few years ago, but of course their material is always different because their focus is political satire.

Teresa had extra tickets and offered one to me. I hadn't thought I'd be here this weekend so hadn't thought much about the performance. Anyway, I eagerly accepted.

Teresa actually had six tickets so we invited Terry to join us. I called Andrea to see if she wanted to go and she was planning to buy a ticket so it worked out great. We were also able to give one to Dotty, so only one ticket went to waste. I called Jocelyn but she was snowed in in Wichita. I called Diana but she didn't respond. Julie had other plans and Cleta was babysitting. Debbie and Kathie already had tickets. Needless to say, we saw a ton of people we knew.

They didn't allow photos so I don't have any pix to share. They were funny, as always. We all loved their Supreme Court Justice take off of "Staying Alive."

After the performance, Terry, Teresa and I went to see Andrea's new place. Martha and Jim were there, too. We had some tea and some wonderful conversation. Then Terry and Teresa came back to my house and we made more tea and had more conversation.

It turned out to be a lovely evening. It is cold here - I'm not sure it has gotten up to 20 all day - but it was worth getting out in. We all had fun.

2007-01-12T22:03:00.000-08:00

Mission Accomplished

I realize you're not used to seeing the National Review mentioned here, so I apologize for the shock. But, I must point you toward the following link for their wrap up of an assessment of Bush's latest insane idea of sending yet more troops to Iraq.

Their own opinion includes the following: "Frankly, as he has over the past few weeks, Bush looked like a man who is in way over his head, which he is. The man who got the country into this hole, and whose neglect and incompetence dug us deeper into into it, looks like a man who would like nothing more than to get back to Crawford. We'd all be better off if he would."

I will copy it over at the end of this post in case it's taken down at their site, but it will lose some formatting that's important and the clickable links so I encourage you to view it at their site. It's fascinating.

http://conways.nationalreview.com/post/?q=OGNkNWZhOTM1YTQ4MjY0MTdmODFlOTdjNTM0MDQwYTU=

I had lunch with my friend, Teresa, today. She said she is starting to think Bush needs an exam to make sure he's mentally competent. I have been on vacation and not keeping up on all the details of the news, although I got the highlights, if you can call them that. However, after reading more today, I have to say I agree with her. This man is showing signs of making unsound judgements - and I don't mean in a political sense - I mean in a mentally unstable sense. He has become obsessed with this one thing and cannot see anything beyond it.

When you hold a position that almost everyone thinks is wrong you do have to consider your position. You may come to the conclusion that they just haven't caught on yet, but that examination is an important part of the process.

When you've been fighting a war for almost four years, and have been responsible for the deaths of thousands of people, and you've made no real progress - in fact it could be argued things are worse now than before you started, and most others "in the know" think your plan is not wise, you really need to consider the facts.

It is hard to believe we are only six years into the Bush presidency. It seems like it was 20 years ago that Clinton was in the White House, and we were at peace, with a surplus in the budget, prosperous, with no deficit. He was the last president before Bush. I have to keep reminding myself it was only six years ago. It seems like we've been at war forever, pouring money down the drain, killing people, increasing our debt exponentially by the hour.

In case you've lost track of what the war is costing you, you can check out http://nationalpriorities.org/index.php?option=com_wrapper&Itemid=182.

You can compare the costs of the war to that of public education, housing, etc. You can also see what it's costing your town. In my community of about 40,000, our cost tonight is over $34,000,000. I have not contributed a million dollars to the war effort, and yet that is quickly what my share is mounting toward. It's over that already, of course, since not everyone in my community is old enough to be paying taxes.

_____________

From Reconcilable Differences - Two Conways, Two Takes

George's Take
"Too Little, Too Late -- Way Too Late"
01/11 09:59 AM

An analysis by Thomas Ricks in today's Washington Post raises serious questions as to whether the "surge" will make any lasting difference at all:

An Army officer who recently commanded a battalion in Baghdad predicted last night that the plan would fail because Iraqi Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki and his government "will do things to maintain protection" of Sadr's forces. He also dismissed as "happy talk" the president's notion that the predominantly Shiite Iraqi army and police could reassure pro-insurgent Sunni neighborhoods by conducting foot patrols through them.

Bush said it is now clear that there have not been sufficient troops in Baghdad, and that part of the difference in this approach is that the plan will be adequately resourced. Yet the total number of U.S. troops in Iraq after the planned increase will be about 153,000, less than the peak of about 165,000 in December 2005. Military experts last night wondered, as one said, how a "thin green line" of 17,500 additional soldiers in Baghdad could affect the security situation in a city where many of the 5 million residents are hostile to the U.S. presence. "Too little, too late � way too late," said retired Col. Jerry Durrant, who has worked as a trainer of Iraqi forces.

The Joint Chiefs of Staff have resisted Bush's push for more troops, according to officials familiar with internal deliberations, but recently gave in to the president's wishes. Bush said last night that top commanders reviewed the new plans to add a total of 21,500 Army and Marine forces in Baghdad and Anbar province and approved of them.

"The 'surge' is actually quite small," said retired Army Col. Andrew Bacevich, who compared it with the 206,000 additional troops that Gen. William Westmoreland requested in Vietnam in 1968. "In effect, Bush is counting on the Iraqis to pull our bacon out of the fire," Bacevich said, adding that there is no evidence that the Iraqi military and government are capable of doing so.

And over at the Corner, John Derbyshire succinctly points out the complete illogic in Bush's latest version of his strategy:

Sorry, but it struck me as a snow job, from an administration that�pretty much like the rest of us�has no clue where to go from here.

The central and most glaring contradiction is the implied threat to walk away... Yoked to the ringing declaration that, of course, we can't walk away. We seem to be saying to the Maliki govt.: "Hey, you guys better step up to your responsibilites, or else we're outa here." This, a few sentences after saying that we can't leave the place without a victory. So-o-o-o:

�-We can't leave Iraq without a victory.

�-Unless Maliki & Co. get their act together, we can't achieve victory.

�-If Maliki & Co. don't get their act together, we'll leave.

It's been a while since I studied classical logic, but it seems to me that this syllogism leaks like a sieve.

Derb also rightly points that it's hard to take seriously the implied threats Bush seems to be making to Iran and Syria:

The President: "Iran is providing material support for attacks on American troops. We will disrupt the attacks on our forces. We will interrupt the flow of support from Iran and Syria." We haven't been doing this? We haven't been doing this? How many of the the 21,500 troops of the "surge" will be assigned to these operations? Leaving how many for Baghdad and Anbar? Shall we have a "hot pursuit" policy?

And, returning to the issue of sticks: What, exactly, do Iran and Syria have to fear from us, whatever they do?

Andy McCarthy pretty much makes the same point:

In any event, most telling was one administration official�s sense that our forces in Iraq had �sure sent a signal to the Iranians� by detaining the Iranian military officials who were captured in raids in mid-December. Yet, even as the president was preparing his new strategy, even as he was readying the words of warning he uttered so forcefully last night, those Iranians were released by the Maliki government and sent back to Iran after about a week in custody.

What signal can this have sent? This one: If you�re an Iranian in Iraq helping to kill American troops, the comeuppance is that we�ll hold you for a few days and then send you back home.

Actions, the old saw tells us, speak louder than words. Given our actions, and what they imply about our sentiments, it�s going to take a lot more than last night�s rhetoric to make an impression on Iran and Syria.

Indeed, Ahmadinejad and Assad should be thrilled that Bush is tying up more assets in Baghdad and Anbar. They've got us right where they want us.

So much for substance. On style, Tom Shales correctly remarks {in the Washington Post] how tense, anxious and rigid Bush looked last night. Frankly, as he has over the past few weeks, Bush looked like a man who is in way over his head, which he is. The man who got the country into this hole, and whose neglect and incompetence dug us deeper into into it, looks like a man who would like nothing more than to get back to Crawford. We'd all be better off if he would.

2007-01-12T14:43:00.000-08:00

Candy Darling

Wednesday afternoon I went to the Austin Museum of Art to see the exhibit, "Radical NY." It was about the era when avant garde art really came into its own in the 70s. Keith Haring, Andy Warhol, Robert Mapplethorpe and many others were represented.

One of the most striking pieces was Peter Hujar's photograph, "Candy Darling on her Deathbed." Seeing an image online or in print is never the same as seeing it in person. I found it online in numerous places, and put one here to illustrate, but seeing the actual print gives tone and color you just can't replicate.

Candy Darling, born James Lawrence Slattery, was a transsexual actress who appeared in Warhol films, as well as others. Candy died of leukemia in 1974, at only 29, apparently a side effect of the hormones.

Candy's funeral was attended by Julie Newmar, Gloria Swanson, and a host of other celebrities of the day.

This photograph was taken, literally, on her death bed. Apparently she maintained her look, with complete makeup, until the end.

Candy was the inspiration for Lou Reed's song, "Walk on the Wild Side." I went and looked up the lyrics since it had been awhile since I had heard it. Candy is the one associated with the most famous line of the song. Most guys who loved that line probably had no idea that "Candy" was a pre-op transsexual. Candy apparently referred to the penis as "my flaw."

In the process of finding those lyrics, I found information saying Candy also inspired Reed's song, "Candy Says," recorded on the Velvet Underground's third album. This is not a tune I know, but I listened to a bit of it online and it is haunting.

This image was used in the last couple of years as cover art for "I Am a Bird Now" by Antony Hegarty of Antony and the Johnsons fame. In a "full circle" way, it was Lou Reed who garnered more attention for Antony after hearing an early recording.

Reed, and Boy George, are guest vocalists on "I Am a Bird Now." Reed also made an appearance on the earlier "The Lake." Antony has quite a following, including Kate Bush, Bjork, Philip Glass and Laurie Anderson, who was also represented in the Radical NY exhibit I went to see. Connections are amazing, aren't they?

Antony and the Johnsons consider many aspects of the transgender life in their music. Antony is transgender and sings songs like "For Today I am a Boy," which chronicles a boy's dream of growing up to be a woman.

OK, so it's not a dream every young boy has, but not everyone can grow up to be a fireman.

Walk On The Wild Side Lyrics

Holly came from Miami, F.L.A.
Hitch-hiked her way across the USA
Plucked her eyebrows on the way
Shaved her legs and then he was a she
She says, Hey babe
Take a walk on the wild side
Hey honey
Take a walk on the wild side

Candy came from out on the Island
In the backroom she was everybody's darlin'
But she never lost her head
Even when she was giving head
She says, Hey babe
Take a walk on the wild side
I Said, Hey baby
Take a walk on the wild side
And the coloured girls go
doo do doo do doo do do doo..

Little Joe never once gave it away
Everybody had to pay and pay
A hustle here and a hustle there
New York City's the place where they say,
Hey babe, take a walk on the wild side
I said, Hey Joe
Take a walk on the wild side

Sugar Plum Fairy came and hit the streets
Lookin' for soul food and a place to eat
Went to the Apollo
You should've seen em go go go
They said, Hey shuga Take a walk on the wild side
I Said, Hey babe
Take a walk on the wild side
All right, huh

Jackie is just speeding away
Thought she was James Dean for a day
Then I guess she had to crash
Valium would have helped that bash
Said, Hey babe,
Take a walk on the wild side
I said, Hey honey,
Take a walk on the wild side
and the coloured girls say,
doo do doo do doo do do doo

Candy Says Lyrics

Candy says, I've come to hate my body
And all that it requires in this world

Candy says, I'd like to know completely
What all they discretely talk about

I'm gonna watch the blue birds fly
over my shoulder
I'm gonna watch them pass me by
maybe when I'm older

What do you think I'd see
if I could walk away from me

Candy says, I hate the quiet places
That cause the smallest taste of what will be

Candy says, I hate the big decisions
That cause endless revisions in my mind

I'm gonna watch the bluebirds fly
over my shoulder
I'm gonna watch them pass me by
maybe when I'm older

What do you think I'd see
if I could walk away from me

2007-01-11T21:17:00.000-08:00

Home Sooner Than Expected

I am back in Hutchinson, although I had not planned to return until Sunday.

This morning I woke up in Austin where I had a full day of tourist activities planned. However, after CNN described the ice storm headed for Oklahoma as "devastating," I decided I would have to forgo my plans.

I didn't even get to eat the Magnolia Cafe, which was high on my list. The plan was for breakfast there this morning but I was busy throwing my things in my bag and hitting the road instead.

We are supposed to get some ice here, but it sounds like Oklahoma is going to get it much worse. I just happened to be where I needed to drive all the way across Oklahoma, north to south.While I had planned to do that Saturday/Sunday it seems unlikely anyone will want to by then.

So, I'm home.

2007-01-10T20:16:00.000-08:00

Saturday I went to see "Collecting the Impressionists," a special exhibit at the San Antonio Museum of Art, which consisted of 12 paintings from the Sterling and Francine Clark Art Institute of Williamstown, Massachusetts.

While 12 paintings may not seem like much of an exhibit, in this case it wsa extraordinary. Included were the following:

Renoir - "Onions" - 1881
Renoir - "At the Concert" - 1880
Renoir - "A Girl with a Fan" - 1879-80?
Pissaro - "Piette's House at Montfoucault" - 1874
Manet - "Moss Roses in Vase" - 1882
Renoir - "A Girl Crocheting" - c. 1875
Pissaro - "The River Oise near Pontoise" - c. 1873
Renoir - "Self Portrait" - c. 1875
Monet - "The Duck Pond" - 1874
Degas - "The Dancing Lesson" - 1880
Morisot - "The Bath (Girl Arranging her Hair)" - 1885-86
Monet - "Spring in Giverny" - 1890

Robert Sterling Clark was the grandson of one of the founders of the Singer Sewing Machine Company. He began collecting art, but it was his French wife, Francine, who directed him toward the impressionists.

Renoir's "A Girl Crocheting" was the first impressionist painting they purchased and Renoir was to remain a favorite. They owned 39 paintings by Renoir, more than any other artist in their collection. By comparison, they owned seven works by Pissaro and the same number by Monet.

One of the highlights of this exhibit is "Onions," the atypical Renoir painting included. The vibrant colors and the vigorous brushstrokes are quintessential Renoir, but applied to a different subject. Clark said it was one of his favorites, and one that was always noticed by a dealer who visited their home where it was hung.

The Renoir self-portrait was done when he was 34 and shows the artist with a penetrating gaze. Renoir referred to it as a "paltry sketch" but did exhibit it in the 1876 impressionist exhibit. He did not apply the same delicate touch to his own skin tone that he gave to the women and girls he painted regularly.

The other three Renoir works are more typical - all include young women in various settings with the beautiful skin he is known for. The painting of girls at a concert is also a minor art lesson with all the triangular shapes present from the neckline to the position of bent arms and the paper around the roses, not to mention the central rose on the woman's dress.

The Degas is his traditional subject of ballet dancers, but its composition is unusual. It's painted on a diagonal and a splash of color on the costume of the central dancer draws your eye.

The two Monet works are both plein air. The Duck Pond is a study in color, with all the oranges and blues present. "Spring in Giverny" combines the beautiful, ethereal landscapes he is known for, but you can also glimpse what is to come in his later years in the building that is thought to be the rail station. It's as if the future is there in the distance. Unlike the trees, which are soft and delicate, the building has the broader brush strokes and thicker paint seen more often in his later works, particularly the final works he gave to the French state, his waterlillies series that hangs in Paris.

The two Pissaro paintings in this exhibit are both from the first years of the impressionist movement. Pissaro was the only artist to show in all eight of the original exhibits between 1874-1886.

The Morisot painting included is one that Monet owned the last 30 years of his life. The Clarks bought it in 1949 from his heirs. It's always curious to me to see what other artists value.

The Manet painting shown here expresses his unique place in the story of the impressionists. He was always rooted in the more traditional art world, but willing to experiment too. This painting is a perfect synthesis of the two things - a traditional subject of flowers in a vase - given an impressionist treatment.

This exhibit has left San Antonio now and will open at the Norton Museum of Art in West Palm Beach, Florida on Jan. 20. It will run until March 11, 2007.

After that it will go to the Joslyn Art Museum in Omaha, Nebraska. It will be there from March 24 t0 May 13, 2007.

My hope is to see it again in Nebraska. The Joslyn is a good museum. They have one of the Degas sculptures of the dancer with the fabric tutu. There are only 14 of them. The Clark exhibit will probably get me up there for another visit.

2007-01-10T08:59:00.000-08:00

I have been at an MHA conference that ends today. I'm packing up my stuff during a break so I can check out of this nice hotel. I so love nice hotels, but I digress.

As always, this has been an interesting conference. Mental Health is a fascinating field to be in and the people working in it are highly intelligent and incredibly passionate. One of them summed it up by saying she got into the field because it was a civil rights issue that people with mental illness were not treated well and she wanted to change that. I think she summed up what many who work in the field feel.

I've been doing this almost five years so I've heard some of it before, but there is always something new. We talk more and more about total wellness these days, which I think is positive. Why we think what happens above the neck is not important as opposed to below the neck, I'm not sure. But that is changing. Thankfully.

I will leave with piles of information and tons of new information to share in the coming months. I enjoy public speaking and part of the reason is that it's great to be able to get the information out that's important to all of us.

2007-01-09T07:08:00.000-08:00

OK, so I'm not given to beauty tips generally, but I have two for you today - both hair related.

1. Nizoral shampoo
The other day I'm in a museum and suddenly I feel the hair being lifted from where it's hanging down my back and this man exclaiming, "Oh, Honey! You have the most beautiful hair. Yummy! ..." The conversation went on in this fashion with me saying "Thank you" periodically. I was flattered, if a bit taken aback.

Then I got the question I always get from hairdressers, "What do you do to your hair? It's so healthy!"

The answer is always the same. "Nothing special. Shampoo, conditioner, comb when wet, brush when dry. No processes, chemicals, colors, gels, mousses, sprays, perms, hair dryers, curling irons, etc."

I then told him my biggest problem was that it felt like residue built up on it sometimes and I had a hard time getting it really clean. My mom used to rinse it with vinegar water occasionally but I hate the smell. That's when he suggested Nizoral shampoo. (You knew I'd get to it eventually, right?)

Nizoral is a dandruff shampoo that used to be prescription but can now be bought off the shelf. He swore it would strip off any residue with no damage. He was so convincing that I stopped by Walgreens that night and bought some. You know what? He's right. I can now say with authority that it works. I will keep a bottle on the shelf and use it every once in awhile - at $9.99 a small bottle it's not going to be a daily shampoo for me.

So, there's my beauty tip of the day.

I have one additional tip for men who wear hairpieces. This was prompted by a guy I saw walking on the street the other day. If you wear a hairpiece, you need to get it checked periodically. Just as hair continues to grow, hair continues to fall out.

This incredibly well-dressed man had the gray hairpiece perched on top of his head. Then there was an inch wide space of bare skin between it and the tuft of hair growing at the base of his neck.

This is NOT a good look. NOT a good look.

Guys - bald is sexy. It's much sexier when it's not marred by a hair piece covering up part of it, but not all of it. Partially bald is far sexier than that. Just go for it. Trust me. No woman would disagree with me about the bare-skin-band look.

2007-01-08T20:16:00.000-08:00

This afternoon I heard a gentleman here from the CDC talking about the ACE study. This is a very large, ongoing study, with fascinating outcomes.

ACE stands for Adverse Childhood Experiences - it's another way of saying emotional, physical or sexual abuse; neglect; substance abuse by parents; violence toward mother; divorce or separation of parents; incarceration of parent, etc. etc. etc. The list of adverse childhood experiences is so long it's hard to quantify.

What we know is that there is a relationship between the number of these a child has and their later health - physical and mental.

Adverse Childhood Experiences lead to social, emotional and cognitive impairment, which leads to high risk behaviors that gives us disease, disapbility and social problems and ultimately lead to an early death. The trick is to figure out how those experiences lead to the impairment which leads to the risky behavior - we know it does, we just don't know why. Yet. We will. Then the question will become what to do about it.

Interestingly enough, most of us have one or more ACEs - about 34 percent of women and 38% of men report none. The rest of us fall into the scale somewhere else. But, it's cumulative - if you have one you're at less risk than if you have three. By the time you have four there doesn't seem to be much distinction above that - i.e. having four is about the same risk as having seven.

When you look at the population as a whole, you find that behaviors such as smoking, risky sexual behavior, alcohol abuse, etc. do not fall randomly into the population. They cluster, and people who have one risk factor tend to have others. That's what prompted the research. The common factor is ACEs and how many of them we have.

This is important stuff - there is a correlation between these and everything from obesity to STDs to diabetes to heart disease.

This is not new research, but it is onoing. You can read more about it at http://www.cdc.gov/nccdphp/ace/index.htm. It's exciting, but also painful. This is just one more example of how our mental health affects our physical health. There are new ones every single day, it seems, but still in most places insurance companies are not required to cover your mental health the same way they are to cover your physical health.

Did you know that people who are depressed are four times more likely to have a heart attack? But, we'd rather treat the damage to the heart muscle instead of treating the depression. By the way, the success rate with treating heart disease is about 45%, while the success rate with treating mental illness is about 85%. So, we'd rather wait until the person has a greater chance of dying before we do anything. There's some good thinking. Newt Gingrich is right when he says the health care system in the US is so broken it just needs to be thrown out and we need to start over.

What can you do? Bug your representatives. There's a good chance the Wellstone bill will pass in this session of congress with democrats in control and insurance companies will have to cover mental health sufficiently. The votes have been there to pass it, but republicans would not bring it to a vote. With democrats in control, mental health advocates think it will be brought to a vote and pass.

Oh, and when the lobbyists tell you how expensive it's going to be to cover everyone, they're lying. In Vermont, the only state that has true parity (equal coverage for mental and physical health), it did not cause a dramatic increase in premiums - it just meant that people got care and insurance companies made a tiny bit less money. How often do you hear of them going out of business? Exactly.

Many health insurance plans cover mental health at only $10,000 for a lifetime. Guess how long that takes to use up? It would be like saying heart disease is only covered for the first $10,000. Families mortgage everything they own to get care for their children. People go bankrupt. People lose their homes. Surely we can put an end to such foolishness. Surely.

2007-01-07T23:01:00.000-08:00

I have spent part of the day today looking at art - impressionist art - Monet's art. Needless to say, I've had a great day.

Seeing particular pieces of art seems to, literally, feed my soul. I have a physical, as well as emotional, reaction to some artwork. inner being is soaking up the experience.

Monet and Renoir almost always have that effect on me - not always, but almost. Other artists can impact me that way as well. Today a Chagall painting really struck a cord with me, even though he is not one of my favorite artists.

I'm sharing this close up I took today of a study Monet did for his final waterlilies paintings. I couldn't use flash, so it's not the best photo, but it does show the texture in the paint, which is one of the things I love in this work.

This is one of the reasons seeing a photo or print of a painting is not at all like seeing it in person - you miss all those details.

2007-01-06T23:41:00.000-08:00

I'm watching a rerun of the first Harry Potter movie. Gosh, they look so young. I am so impressed with this series of books. I cannot wait for the next one.

Of course, I refuse to believe the ending of the last book. It simply cannot be true.

2007-01-05T06:52:00.000-08:00

I don't really believe in making New Year's Resolutions. I never keep them so it's a useless exercise in futility. And it makes me feel bad that I didn't keep them so I stopped setting myself up that way.

But, a few years ago I started picking one or two things that I was going to make an effort to more or less of in the coming year. Nothing major - but something that would make a difference.

For example, a few years ago I decided I was going to drink more water. Considering that I drank practically none at the time, I had no where to go but up with that one. And, I have increased my water intake over that time. When I had to stop drinking caffeine about a year ago my water intake went up even more. One aside, you save a ton of money eating out when you're drinking water instead of pop. You don't think much about it because it's less than a couple of bucks. But, it really adds up. Yet another thing - people will start asking you what new cream you're using on your face because your skin looks better. Embarrassing but true - just water intake.

This year I've decided I'm going to "eat less fake food." This does not mean you will not see me eating junk food, it just means I'm going to eat less. An apple instead of a cookie kind of thing. An apple is real food. A cookie is a conglomeration of foods and food like substances, i.e. fake food. However, still expect to be served cookies and other sweets at my house. I'm just going to eat "less" - a nebulous, undefined amount that will equal "less" than I consume now - and will, yet, make me feel good about what I'm going for myself.

Much like the "resolution" about water, this will not be hard to achieve. But, such things make a difference over the course of a year. And, they tend to be lasting changes.

In the spirit of such things, this morning at breakfast I chose the apple instead of the waffle, which would have also required syrup - a fake food extravaganza. I already feel superior to the person I was a week ago. Geez, I'm easy.

2007-01-03T21:58:00.000-08:00

Productive Day

It has been a productive day, but I'm still not done with everything I need to accomplish. I have been working on things since 7:15 this morning and it's 11:33 p.m. so I think I'm about done for today. Stick a fork in me, I'm done.

Diana and Brad stopped by tonight to look at the tree. Brad is going to build me a stand for it that can hold it upright better than what I'm using. They do not manufacture Christmas Tree stands to hold the amount of lights and ornaments I put on. I need to have something built for me. Fortunately, I know someone who owns a metal fabrication place. And, yes, I do know I should be embarrassed by that. But it's so pretty and sparkly.

I did get everything unloaded from the car today - just in time to repack it all.

Meanwhile, Pat Robertson is taking a break from telling us to send our money to the Lord in care of him, to tell us millions of us are going to die in terrorist attacks sometime after September of this year. I guess that means we all need to live it up for the next few months - make them good.

I do believe God talks to people. I do not believe that Pat Robertson necessarily his designated messenger. I guess time will tell. If this blog ends abruptly after September, you can call Pat Robertson for the last laugh.

2007-01-02T21:12:00.000-08:00

Back to Real Life

It's time to get back to real life. I always find this difficult and it makes me think I need to change my daily life. You shouldn't want to escape it - you should be loving it.

Of course, there are always parts of every day I love and today was no exception. I got to have lunch with Teresa and it was fun to see her and catch up on the holidays. I also popped in to say hi to Diana after lunch.

Otherwise, I've been working on things all day. I have a ton of things to get done. I haven't even gotten the car completely unpacked yet. But I've managed to trash my living room in just getting a few things out.

One cool part of my day was I took the birthday and Christmas money I got from Greg's mom and purchased an expansion card for my PDA. So, now I can listen to podcasts at length, which I will love. Whenever people give me money I try to buy something specific with it instead of letting it just be frittered away in the usual way money goes through people's hands.

I have thought about buying an Ipod but now I want to see what happens with the Zune. And, if I just use my PDA I only have to carry one device.

The trick now is to find some comfy headphones. I've bought two different ones and they are both too big for my ears. My ears, apparently, are smaller than the norm. I honestly had no idea - not like you see the inside of your ears very often - but there you go. Anyway, finding some comfy headphones would complete the setup now.

In sad news, Greg's mom had to let Miss Kitty go today. She has been ill and I suspected they were not going to get a good report from the vet today. I don't know all the details, but I'm sad about it.

I think I was the first to meet Miss Kitty when she wandered up onto Greg's mom's porch about 10 years ago. I said hello to her and petted her and pretty soon Greg's mom had a cat. In true cat fashion, I think she was never more adorable than when she was making that first impression. That's how cats are - they know when to turn on the charm - they are marketing geniuses.

I was already familiar with this because Greg and I had a 16 pound cat who had made himself at home in our lives a bit before then. Come to think of it, I was the first one who met him, too. That first meeting involved some tuna fish and, not surprisingly, he returned and pretty soon Greg and I had a cat.

It's very hard to lose a pet, but letting them go becomes the last act of love you can give them. I know it's going to be hard on her, as well as Greg and Steve who are both there. I will miss her, too.

2007-01-01T21:21:00.000-08:00

Kansas

I arrived at my home tonight to find a dusting of snow still at the edge of the sidewalk. It was a beautiful day to drive - sunny and warm.

I stopped in Joplin and had a late lunch with Greg, Mia and Miss Joy. I didn't get home until about 9:30 tonight and I've been trying to get a couple of things done before bed but I am tired tonight.

I didn't get much sleep last night. I stayed up too late to get up as early as I did. Even I do need some sleep.

I'm happy to see that the Christmas tree is not leaning anymore than it was when I left. It needs some major engineering before next year. I need a welder.

Tomorrow I will unload the car and try to get things in a bit of order. It's amazing that things can get so messed up so easily. How do people keep their houses clean all the time?

2006-12-31T23:38:00.000-08:00

I have spent the day seeing Little Rock and visiting the Clinton Library. I managed to see some other tourist sites and enjoy some local cuisine today. And I still had all the time I needed at the library.

At one time friends invited me to come here so we could see it together. But, I couldn't go the weekend they had in mind and they didn't want to wait. I was really disappointed, but things work out the way they're supposed to. There's no point in crying over spilled milk as they say.

Today was a good time for me to be here. There was a special exhibit of Christmas things from the Clinton years. Considering how much I love the holidays that was perfect.

They also had a book of condolences to be sent to Gerald Ford's family.

Many people were signing it. Obviously, regardless of a person's politics, everyone understands grief.

Being at the library today reminded me of just how much I miss having Bill Clinton in the White House. He is such a smart man. I love smart men. I really love them in high office. I miss him. I want him back in the white house again.

I also visited Central High - famous for the Little Rock Nine, I saw the Quapaw District, and went to Pugh's Mill which I really enjoyed. I also took in some local cuisine. It has been a busy day.

It is now, officially, 2007. May this be a year when we see peace again. Going through the library today I was reminded of what it's like to live in a country where prosperity is the greatest in decades and we're at peace. It seems like it was so long ago, so very long ago. I want it back.

2006-12-31T21:35:00.000-08:00

I have been intending to post some photos from Christmas, but just haven't gotten around to it. I thought I'd best get it done before 2007 arrives. I have 61 minutes.

My packages this year were shiny red with silver snowflakes. I was tickled to find silver snowflake ornaments that were the perfect accompaniment. I used different kinds of silver ribbons to accent. It worked pretty well. Still not sure what I'm doing this coming year.

Even Mary Ann got into the spirit of matching paper and ornaments this year. Cathy says Kim and I are not getting to her, though. :)

The big news for me this Christmas was that I got to be with both my brothers. We took some pix together about 15 years ago and hadn't had any since. So, one night at Kim's when we were all there, we took some snapshots. That's me, Jim and Jackie.

I also got to see Johnny, who I hadn't seen in ages. That's him with his parents, Mattie and Jim.

I think we did something every night and while it's great fun, we were all starting to get worn out. I arrived on the 23rd. On the 24th we were at Cathy's. BC and his girlfriend, Kaitlyn, got to open a couple of presents and me too since I had a birthday present there.

Christmas day everyone was there and it was great fun. I think Dylan summed up the afternoon for us.

But, after a little rest, we were able to laugh a bit more the next day. Dylan's girlfriend, Whitney, and a bunch of others were playing a game. I'm blessed to come from a family where we laugh a lot.

We were all happy to see Mia again. Nic and Andy arrived the day after Christmas. Even though we'd just seen her in October she had grown - of course. She's now six months old.

She became the star of the show. None of us could leave her alone. The poor little thing likes to lay down and we barely give her a chance.

She is a really good baby - very laid back - and very easy going. Nic and Andy seem really happy and I am so impressed with their parenting. They're both attentive without over doing it - a perfect mix.

This is Mary Ann and Jackie's first great grandchild.

And it's Jackie and Kim's first grandchild.

Cathy, like the rest of us, can't get enough of her.

There are more photos, naturally, but I'm going to pack this in before 2007 arrives without me getting this online!

2006-12-30T20:46:00.000-08:00

I am in Little Rock, having my own little retreat. I arrived tonight in the midst of a rain storm that has been unrelenting. Fortunately, it was not raining hard until shortly before I arrived. I didn't even go out to dinner but ordered pizza from a local spot - Le Star Pizzaria. It was very good and I've spent the evening writing.

Journaling with pen and paper has been difficult for me over the last bit of my life but I know it is an essential for me to stay on track. So, a couple of nights ago I made myself do it. And again tonight. Of course, now that I'm started it seems hard to stop. That's good.

Tomorrow I will go to the Clinton Library. I have never visited a presidential library, although I live a little over an hour from the Eisenhower one. But, I thought Clinton's should be the first one I go to since he's the only president I've voted for who got into office.

Tomorrow night I'm going to stay here again, and go home on Monday. It's fortunate Terry can house-sit for me. That makes it easier to be gone.

My plan is to use tomorrow night to do some more soul searching. It's New Year's Eve and I do not want to be on the road with the drinkers, so I will be here. It's also a good time for contemplation.

I have identified some ugly things in me and I want to exorcise them before a new year begins. Always best to leave the past year behind and start with a fresh slate.

On the world stage, the country is mourning the loss of Gerald Ford. Regardless of what you thought of him and his politics, he was a man you could respect.

And, although it has been little more than a footnote, Saddam Hussein was hanged yesterday. I am afraid that is not going to be good for the soldiers in Iraq. I can't figure out why, exactly, but it seems any dramatic event is bad and that is certainly a dramatic event. I'm not sure what people feel has been accomplished by this, but I hope it doesn't lead to more deaths.

2006-12-29T20:14:00.000-08:00

I have spent a large part of the day trying to procure antibiotics. I have a bladder infection. It's not like I haven't had them before and not like I don't recognize them. However, getting others - who control the dispensing of pills - to believe that I know what it means when I have to pee every 90 seconds and it burns like hell - seems practically impossible.

The last time I went to the doctor while travelling it was incredibly expensive so I wanted to avoid that. I thought I'd just call my own doc since I knew what it was. But he was on call at urgent care and not in the office. Thankfully, another doctor understood my plight and OK'ed the prescription. So, from 8-10 a.m. that's what I did. It took another four hours to actually GET the pills. That was all Walgreens.

You know how they tell you that you can get your prescription from anywhere. Well, technically, you can. However, today it took 14 phone calls to various people and 6 hours for me to get 6 little pills to kill whatever is making me miserable. I'm thankful the Walgreens option was available, but don't believe the hype about how easy it is.

Blissfully, a stop at ye olde Wal-mart early in the day and a few dollars netted those wonderful little pills that make you less miserable. Thank goodness they no longer require a prescription. Of course, they do nothing to actually deal with the bacteria problem. But they sure make you feel better and I was mighty thankful for that.

In other, more pleasant, news... I stopped to see Mattie and Jim today and tonight we all went to Jackie and Kim's to see baby Mia again. They're going home in the morning.

Mary Ann is headed out tomorrow to see a UK ballgame. I'm so glad she's getting to go. Her friend, Janice, is spending the night tonight and they're leaving here at 3 a.m. I'm going to get up and take their picture with Ace Jackalope. He has a Wildcat Blue shirt to wear.

Jackie will go duck hunting and I will hit the road. However, I'm going to do some more sleeping between 3 a.m. and hitting the road.

2006-12-28T21:46:00.000-08:00

It occurred to me while watching the local news today that one way to keep your children close by is to teach them habits that make it impossible for them to function in the world at large. I was thinking specifically of bigotry today - if you raise your child a bigot they won't be able to go forth and function - so you'll keep them very close by you and in whatever circumstance you function in as a bigot. It's very sad.

I would think any parent would want their child to be able to function in any circumstance. But, obviously, that is not the case.

The Amish are right in this regard. They don't believe in school past the 8th grade because that gives children "worldly" ideas. Same principle - different application.

2006-12-26T20:38:00.000-08:00

I am so not a shopper in general, but Dec. 26 is one day when I am a die hard shopper. I left my brother's house at 4 a.m. - even before he got up to go duck hunting.

I was in Paducah when things started opening and made the rounds. Fortunately, Greg got the Hallmark ornaments I wanted because the stores here are messing with the system - only giving 40% off or not marking things down. I didn't have to play their game since Greg was getting stuff for me. I am getting really darned close to being fed up with the whole business of trying to get every Barbie ornament and playing all these silly games trying to out guess the retailers and the manufacturers. At some point one gets tired of it and I am just about there.

Mainly I got ornaments for small, theme trees. Next year I think I'm doing a lime green, pink and cream tree - provided I have enough stuff to go on it. I'll have to see how much I've amassed in the last few years. It somes takes 3-5 years for me to gather up enough different stuff to make a pretty theme tree. I made an impromptu trip into Micheal's today and got these wonderful pink ornies for that tree, so I was glad I did that.

I also picked up a lot of blue things. I have a blue, white and silver tree, but I want to change the look of it a bit. I've been doing the same thing for a long time - it needs a new look.

Lots of places had either nothing left or practically nothing.

My biggest bargain of the day was a $30 cookie sheet for $4.99 at Elder Berman. They were on sale and I had a $10 off coupon so it was a great deal. I really wanted two of them, but I only had one coupon. So, there you go.

I'm headed out tomorrow for the annual Bath and Body sale - something I adore. I'll lay in some supplies for the coming year. Everyone has their indulgences, and that's one of mine.

Tonight we gathered at Kim and Jackie's to see Andy, Nic and Mia. Mia has grown since we saw her in October. We had Christmas with them and it was fun. Naturally, Mia was a bit oblivious to the whole thing, but I'm sure next year she'll be much more into it.

This afternoon, after shopping, I stopped by Mattie and Jim's new house. It's really cute. I really like it - it's nice. Johnny was there and I got to visit with him and that was great. I haven't had time to just talk to him in probably 10-15 years. When we were growing up I was closest in age to him and Bob so we spent a lot of time together. It was really good to talk with him.

They came over to Kim's tonight, along with Chrissy, who I hadn't seen in ages. I just love, love, love, love, love having both my brothers and sisters in law in one area. Because when they're there, everyone else comes to them. So, I get to see everyone with just one visit. Frankly, it makes me want to live here, too. I don't want to be the missing piece of the puzzle.

2006-12-25T19:26:00.000-08:00

It has been a delightful day of Christmas celebration. We are so incredibly blessed.

I scored with four presents this year, which is a good average. My brother Jackie loved his hand warmers for duck hunting, Cathy liked her jacket, Mary Ann liked her jar opener and Dylan liked his laptop backpack. I liked that, too, but I was glad I gave it to him since he enjoyed it.

I will leave my brother's a little after 4 in the morning to be there when the stores start to open. My big hunt will be for next year's wrapping paper. I have a "thing" about wrapping paper - even I don't fully comprehend it - I just know I love it.

I will try to post some photos in the next day or two. Tomorrow Andy and Nic are coming down and I'll get to see them and baby Mia. So, that will be fun. We'll do Christmas with them tomorrow night.

Well, I'd best get some sleep so I'm able to bargain shop tomorrow. I know it's silly, but I like it. So, there you go.

2006-12-24T21:10:00.000-08:00

In a little less than an hour it will officially be Christmas. I always remind people you only get so many Christmases in a lifetime, so you should enjoy each one.

We have had a full day today. I finished my presents, tying on the ornaments and doing some last minute wrapping of a couple of things that would not travel well wrapped so had to be done on this end.

It is a joke in my family that Kim and I like to have coordinating paper and this year Mary Ann has done the same, complete with ornaments.

Jim and Mattie came out for a little bit today so I got to see them and it was good. They will be here tomorrow, too, and I'm really looking forward to being with everyone on Christmas day.

I went to Christmas eve services and it was great to be there. It's always a moving experience and it's good to see people I haven't seen in decades, that were kids when I was a kid. Lives can take such different paths - people younger than me are grandparents now and the mere thought of raising a child still overwhelms me. I guess that's part of what makes the world interesting - different things for different people.

We went to Cathy and Bob's tonight after services, and we will go up there in the morning to see what Santa brings BC. It will be a busy day filled with laughter, and it's hard to beat that.

I hope your day is perfect, whether it's with family, friends or your own good company. Enjoy it! Merry Christmas.

2006-12-23T22:03:00.000-08:00

I'm home in Kentucky. Although I've lived elsewhere for more of my life, I spent the first 17 years in Ballard County, and I guess it will always be "home."

Tonight when I got off the interstate and headed toward Cairo, Illinois, the air became thick with fog. I realized that it's always then that I feel at home - when the air is filled with moisture from the rivers. It has nothing to do with state lines, which are in close proximity here, but it is all about the air.

The air is heavy and rich and visible. You breathe it in and your lungs feel full, as if they're being fed. We breathe in the rivers - literally - it nourishes our lungs, our bodies, our souls.

I'm not sure I'll ever feel at home in a place where the air is dry. Where instead of giving you moisture, it's trying to suck it out of your body. Where your skin and lips and hands are cracked and parched because the very air is taking your body's moisture from you.

I love the feeling of the moist air, surrounding me and everything else. It doesn't part when we approach, we're simply able to meld with it and become one. It envelopes us in the rivers from the safety of dry land.

I stopped at the confluence, as I always do. It was very quiet tonight with no boats docked nearby, which is very unusual. The stars were brilliant, and I could hear the water lapping at the edge of the bank. And, in the distance, the distinctive sound of tug boats, a given in this area.

When I drove across the bridge I did so with all the windows rolled down to get the full effect. I always do that, unless it's pouring rain. But, a little rain I don't mind and snow I relish. Tonight is clear and cool. And wet.

I have breathed in the rivers, tiny droplets at a time. I am nourished.

2006-12-22T23:56:00.000-08:00

Happy Birthday to Me

It is officially my birthday - it's one hour and 31 minutes into it, actually. Birthdays have never been a really big deal to me - it's hard for them to be when you're born on Dec. 23. But there are times when I've wanted it to be a bigger deal and it's hard for the people around you to figure out when it matters if you're generally so casual about it. Sometimes being casual is just a defense mechanism, but I guess we all have some of those.

I have had a couple of really special birthdays, and a lot of so-so birthdays and a couple of really bad ones. My guess is that my average is about like everyone else's. Whether they're good or bad has nothing to do with the age I am, but with the circumstances surrounding the day.

And it's not always easy to tell which it will be. One of the ones I expected to be the worst was one of the best. This one is shaping up to be a nice one so far.

Whatever will be, will be. It's another day of life and for that I'm thankful.

At this time of year I am reminded of how blessed I am in so many ways. I'm healthy, I have a home I love, I have friends and family I adore, I have a job I enjoy that I'm good at, and daily life overflows with so many "perks" it's incredible. And I am happy - delightfully happy - I have been most of my life. That's not to say I haven't spent some time at the therapist's office, but overall I have always been happy on some level.

As I enter my 45th year on the planet I am thankful that I can say that it all ended tomorrow I would have lived a full life. I've been given love and benefited from grace. I've given in to my whims. I've been needed and wanted and I have returned the same. I have hungered with a passion so intense it was overwhelming and I've calmly moved into choppy waters knowing they're dangerous. I've loved and lost and loved again. I've cherished the moments and counted the hours. I've longed for love and cried over spilled milk. I've walked away and run toward. I've left things behind and carried some of yesterday with me into every tomorrow. I've begged - and given -forgiveness. I've grieved, I've grown, I've gathered myself and my thoughts. And I've always known the sun's gonna come up in the morning. Some things are givens. And some things are gimmes.

2006-12-21T20:56:00.000-08:00

Tree

The Lope came by to take in the Christmas Tree. Read more about his visit at www.thelope.blogspot.com.

2006-12-20T23:55:00.000-08:00

Shopping

Well, I generally do all my Christmas shopping early, but this year I just didn't find the goodies I expected along the way so I have been out today finishing up. I think I have only a couple of things left.

It's kind of fun to be out in the hustle and bustle. Of course, I didn't think that when this guy literally ran me off the road tonight, so I was driving on the shoulder. Then, of course, he slows down, like he can't figure out why I'm driving on the shoulder. I just assumed he was having a rough day and let it go.

It's fun picking out things for people. Hopefully I got some decent goodies. And if not, I got the second most highly sought after Christmas present - the gift receipt. (The first being cash, of course!)

2006-12-19T22:00:00.000-08:00

I've been a good girl

I have been a good girl this year - you can tell because Santa has already come to my house to pose for a photo with me.

This is actually one of Santa's helpers, aka Gary Hughes. His wife, Peggy, is on my board of directors. I had my board over for dinner tonight to thank them for their help the past year. Being on a board is a ton of work, and it often goes without even a thank you.

We had a good turn out, with most of the board here. I have been blessed to have a great board the entire time I've had this job.

I cooked soups - chili, potato, black bean and veggie. I froze a little bit of the black bean, had two bowls of the veggie left that Greg and Jordan are eating, and sent the little bit of chili home with Trish. There is one bowl of potato in the fridge. So it all worked out pretty well.

They enjoyed the carrot cake and lemon tarts. Andrea, from the board, brought peppernuts, which I love but rarely make. I will be enjoying those over the next few days. It's a secret recipe from her husband's side of the family. She said they were married about 15 years before it was deemed OK to share the recipe with her. However, she said she'd share it with me so I'm tickled about that. They are tasty little treats.

Trish stayed after everyone else so we could talk about a few things regarding the election. I'm working on a postcard for her to use and have also been working on her website tonight. I know she will do a great job so I want to work to get her elected.

I have been cleaning up from tonight and am almost done. I have one more load of dishes and that will be it. This was my last official gathering of the 2006 holiday season. It's a little sad. I wish I had another couple of weeks to enjoy the season - it just goes too fast.

The saddest part of the evening was that Julie told me tonight she never got my card and the invitation to my Christmas party. I wish I had known because I would have so liked for her to be here but she felt awkward when it didn't arrive. I can understand that, but wish I had chatted with her on the phone before then - I was just so occupied getting ready I didn't call anyone. I just assumed she would know she was invited. She just assumed she would get an invitation.

Ordinarily, I would have no idea if I had sent a particular one or not - figuring I could have done something wrong in the sort - but in this particular case I know I did it because I printed a new envelope and added her husband's name. Were it not for that I'd have no idea - but I remember doing that.

It hasn't come back to me and it hasn't arrived at her house so I have no idea where it is. She lives less than five miles from me - you'd think that wouldn't be a problem. It was probably mangled by a postal machine and they just haven't fessed up to it yet.

I'm amazed things work as well as they do in the postal service generally, but it's sure disappointing in this case. I feel awful that Julie missed out. I was feeling sad that she didn't come. She was feeling sad thinking she wasn't invited. Just a big mess up all around that isn't anyone's "fault," but I'm sure sorry about it all.

Well, it's time for me to head to bed. I didn't sleep well last night and I need some rest!

2006-12-17T21:28:00.000-08:00

Christmas Carols Calms

I am not a big music person, but I own a lot of Christmas CDs. Nothing like some Bing and Frank to get the season started off great.

There's yet another benefit of Christmas carols, as has been reported in the last few days - they calm babies. Here's a story from the Casper newspaper, taken from Scripps Howard. I'm copying it over in case they take it down but the link is at the bottom.

Christmas music calms newborns, nurses report
By LAUREN SMITH
Scripps Howard News Service Thursday, December 14, 2006

The holiday season is in full swing and it is giving nurses who work with newborns something to be thankful for. Their rows of usually fussy infants have been seduced into a collective calm, thanks to the tunes of Christmas.

"They are usually pretty cranky," said Amanda Ring, a women and children's health nurse at New York Presbyterian Hospital, Cornell Medical Center. "But when we put Christmas music on, they stop crying. It's amazing."

Studies have shown that babies are born with the ability to perceive and process basic musical sounds and patterns, often with a preference for those in major keys. It just so happens that most holiday music is written and performed in such keys.

"Because the way that our brains are wired, you don't need to have a fully developed frontal cortex to be affected by music," said Suzanne Hanser, chair of music therapy at Berklee College of Music in Boston.
Even in adults, soothing music can be used to initiate a state of relaxed awareness in the brain, studies show. The music triggers neural impulses which themselves cause nervous system reactions that produce relaxation in muscle tone, brain wave frequency, and other reflexes.

"It's not surprising that newborns would feel soothed by almost any music," Hanser said.

But Ring said the infants are noticeably more content when holiday music is played compared to the usual classical or soft-rock music that flows from the overhead speakers in the hospital's two nurseries.

"It's a really busy nursery," Ring said. "There can be up to 22 babies in one nursery at a time and it's rarely quiet for more than 10 minutes. But with the Christmas music on, it can stay quiet for more than an hour and a half."

Christmas-music expert William Studwell, professor emeritus at Northern Illinois University, said the variety of yuletide tunes also proves interesting to babies.

"Slow music and classical music, such as Yanni, would not shake up the children, but it's boring," Studwell said. "Christmas music has such a different body. Some are secular, some are sacred, some are fast, and some are slow."

Another contributing factor could be the calming effect that Bing Crosby, Nat King Cole and other Christmas crooners have on the nurses themselves. Babies can pick up on the serenity of their caretakers, which then makes them happier, too.

Hanser agreed.

"(Christmas music) might have a great impact on the nurses themselves," she said. "As they pick up a child it may remind them of their family and celebration. Having a positive effect on the caregivers themselves, would enhance the whole environment in which the children and staff are behaving."

Hanser said that some kinds of Christmas music -- those songs with rich orchestration and often-loud sounds -- might actually be too stimulating.

"There are very upbeat carols and children's songs and those that get one in a holiday spirit," she said. "And then there are the very religious and sacred hymns that speak to the seriousness of the history behind the holiday."

Hanser said she would be careful about advising people to play Christmas music to newborns because of its volume.

Studwell disagreed. Even the upbeat, fast-paced songs, such as "Come All Ye Faithful," do not overwhelm. They lift.

Most important, he said, is the key in which they are performed. Lullabies are usually in major keys, which tend to be more upbeat and positive, even when they are slow. The same holds true for Christmas music.

The nurseries at New York Presbyterian play both types of Christmas music, with the volume kept low, Ring said.

"It's amazing," she said. "You just walk in and every baby is quiet."

http://www.casperstartribune.net/articles/2006/12/14/news/national/cf6798bf5e29b5828725724200818168.txt

2006-12-17T21:20:00.000-08:00

Sundays are for Relaxing and Preparing

I slept in today - somewhat unusual for me - but it's good every once in awhile. I got close to eight hours of sleep last night so that's a lot for me. But I've been going almost non stop for a few weeks so my body probably needed the rest.

This afternoon Greg and I went to see Tuna Christmas at the Fox. It was put on by the local theatre guild and Steve and Denny, the two actors who played all the parts, were quite wonderful in it.

We've managed to sneak in a lot of Christmas activities this year - we caught Miracle on 34th Street on TV one night, we went to see Prairie Nutcracker last week, Polar Express in Imax and then this play today.

We also went out tonight to see some Christmas lights after dinner at Skaets. We went to the "rich" part of town. I guess it's all relative. I'm not a person who seeks new construction so that doesn't appeal to me. I need a house with some history, some soul, and some workmanship. A house you can build in a week is not one I want to live in. OK, of course, I'm exaggerating, but you get the point. If my blogs were really searchable like I want them to be I'd reference the bit I wrote some time ago in praise of old houses. But, that's another project.

I've been working on some MHA things inbetween today and also cleaning up from last night and preparing for Tuesday. I need to make my grocery list so I can hopefully only need ONE trip to the store. We'll see how that works out for me. Traditionally, not so well... but maybe this will be the magic time.

2006-12-16T23:06:00.000-08:00

Leadership Gathering

It was nice to see folks from my leadership class. We had a good turn out - although there were people I really wished could come who weren't able to. Well, it would have been nice if everyone could have been here but that just isn't reasonable to expect during the holidays.

There was much laughter and that's always a good thing.

It was an ongoing joke that Connie was telling her boyfriend, Larry, to not touch the tree in case it started an avalanche of things falling. Dennis' wife, Sonja, was telling him the same thing. I assured them they could touch the tree, that nothing bad would happen. Eventually Connie couldn't resist, either.

Larry admired some blue bell-shaped ornaments I had on the tree, so I gave him one of them to take home. At one time I had four of them, but I think I've broken a couple. But, I had two so I sent one of them home with him since he like them. I love to share things like that. I

It was nice to see folks again. Leadership is definitely a bonding experience.

One of the things I made tonight was Heavenly Hash Brownies. A number of people asked for the recipe so I said I would just post it here. I've been making these for awhile, but I'm not sure how long.

One of the first times I made them was for the opening of Pat Mitchell's studio. That seems like it was a lifetime ago, even though it wasn't that many years ago. Pat died in 2001 and she didn't have the studio too many years before that.

Life moves fast, very fast. Hard to believe that painting above my fireplace that she did has only been here less than five years. I've been in this house less than 5 years - Tuesday is the five year anniversary of when I closed. I moved in March the following year. That painting was the first thing I put up. In some ways I feel like I've lived here forever. In others it seems it was just the briefest of moments when I was making plans to spend the first night here.

One thing is for sure - life moves at a fast pace.

Heavenly Hash Brownies

4 eggs
2 cups sugar
1 1/2 cups flour
1 teaspoon vanilla
1 cup margarine, melted
1/3 cup cocoa
1 1/2 cups pecans (optional)

1 1/2 cups mini marshmallows

Combine eggs, sugar, flour and vanilla. Melt margarine and add cocoa. Add that mixture to the flour mixture and beat well. Add nuts. Bake in a 9 by 13 pan at 350 degrees for 25-30 minutes.

When out of the oven, cover with marshmallows and return to oven briefly to melt. Pour over frosting. Let cool before cutting.

Frosting
1/2 cup margarine
1/3 cup milk
3 T cocoa
1 pound powdered sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla

2006-12-14T19:51:00.000-08:00

Breaking News!

My friend, Trish Rose, told us tonight she is running for city council. I'm so excited for her, and for the community. I know she will be fabulous. I'm tickled. I asked if I could share it here and she graciously agreed. So, get ready to vote in April!

2006-12-14T10:38:00.000-08:00

Polar Express and More

Greg and I went to see The Polar Express at the Cosmosphere last night. They have an IMAX screen and it was really cool to see it there. Frankly, I liked it better than I did in the theatre originally.

I'm enjoying the holiday season immensely. Last night Teresa brought her mom over to see the tree. I love to share, so I was glad she could come. She was talking about divinity and how much she loves it. I haven't made any yet this year but if I do I'll make sure to save some for her.

I'm pretty much glued to the computer today. I have a ton of year end things to get out the door for the MHA and some prep things to do for things happening in January and February too.

I have a lot of financial things to do and that is my least favorite. But, it has to be done so I'm going to just get it done and be done with it. I don't trust myself with detail things so I have to check and double check and then have the accountant triple check. It's just time consuming and brain draining for me.

Tonight is our Chicks gathering. I'm not sure what to take, yet, but I guess I need to figure that out pretty shortly. It will be good to see everyone. I have my ornament for our exchange ready to go so at least that's done.

2006-12-13T19:55:00.000-08:00

The Reason for the Season

If one more person says "Remember the Reason for the Season" to me, I may explode with a long list of expletives that are not part of my normal speech pattern. Why? Well, because it's generally only used by people who want to point out to you that you - obviously - have no concept of what Christmas is, historically, really about.

I know all about what it is historically about - pagan beginnings to what is now a Christian celebration. I got it.

Just because I happen to like having a pretty tree, sending cards and wrapping presents in coordinating paper does not mean I have no concept of the religious meaning of the holiday. Nor, frankly, is that any of your business.

Even if I cut you the slack that it's kind of you to be concerned about my immortal soul, one "Remember the Reason for the Season" is sufficient. This week, one person has felt it necessary to say it to me in email twice, despite my ignoring it the first time. I chose not to respond to her latest email lest my fingers type expletives against my will.

I'm not sure reducing a religion to a catchy slogan is something I want to participate in, anyway. And, I hate to be the bearer of what must be unpleasant news for her, but Christmas is also about more than religion as well. It is an economic engine in our society, it is a time for family, it is a time for friends, it's a time for carols, cookies and charity.

Of course, for those of us who are Christians, Christmas is also about Christ. I just like to keep my religion private. When did that become such a crime? When did it become accepted that a person who isn't wearing their religion on their sleeve has none?

Some of us can practice our faith without trying to shame others into doing it our way. We also don't feel the need to reduce our belief system to one pithy phrase that can be repeated ad nauseum.

2006-12-12T22:26:00.000-08:00

Organizing

I've been trying to organize my desk tonight. How does it become PILED with stuff in only a couple of days? Maybe I need yet more shelving. I need something. I also think part of it is the speed with which things come into my life - it's too fast for me to keep up.

We had a screening this afternoon and weren't very busy so I had an opportunity to chat with the social worker, who was someone I hadn't met before. He was really a pleasant guy and it was nice to get to know him a bit.

I have a lot of MHA things to do yet this week and I'm hoping to get to relax a bit on Sunday. Greg's girlfriend, Mia, may come out this weekend. I haven't seen her in a long time so it would be fun to see her.

I have an event Friday night and a party Saturday night but on Sunday I'm going to relax. I may go see the Tuna Christmas production by the local theatre guild. We'll see if I have any energy left by then. I do have to rest a bit because I'm cooking dinner for my board on Tuesday - I always enjoy having them over.

2006-12-11T20:22:00.000-08:00

Identity Theft

Well, today did not go as I had planned. My plan was to be in the office all day and push a lot of things out the door. Instead I spent the entire day dealing with identity theft. Who's? Mine.

I looked at my bank account online today and noticed an unusual charge. A series of phone calls, faxes and a visit from the police later I realized someone had used my checking account numbers to do something online. The bonus was that the police officer who came was Sarah's husband.

It is yet to be untangled, but it has sucked up my whole day. I don't think any major damage has been done, but I'm mighty pissed. Anyone who knows me well knows that the one thing I am most protective of is my time. Some little weasel has sucked down a day of my life with this foolishness - a day I'm never going to get back - and I'm not done with it yet.

I'm not really sure how you're supposed to pay for anything these days. I've had five instances in the last few months of my information being "compromised" by various agencies, making credit cards unsafe. I already have a fraud alert on my credit card.

I had to get a new debit card a few months ago because a local store was keeping people's pin numbers on file. Because I pay for many things automatically with my debit card that required hours of my time to get everything changed over to the new information.

You're not supposed to give people cash because there's no paper trail. Now I've learned that giving people checks is obviously not safe either. So, I don't know how you're supposed to pay for anything.

2006-12-10T21:50:00.000-08:00

Patsy's Christmas Tree Video

2006-12-10T20:37:00.000-08:00

Prairie Nutcracker

Greg, Mark and I went to see the Prairie Nutcracker at the Fox Theatre today. It was really good. The idea of the show was hatched right here in Hutchinson, Kansas.

It was a great way to spend part of the afternoon. We ended up sitting just a few seats from Mike and it was good to see him again.

There were lots of people there I knew - obviously it was the place to be this afternoon.

Otherwise, I have relaxed most of the day, as I generally do the day after the open house. I did do the dishes, aside from one cake plate which is still soaking.

I love it when the house is all clean - apparently not enough to keep it this way all the time, but I enjoy when it's like this for the briefest of time during the holiday season.

2006-12-10T11:37:00.000-08:00

Christmas Open House

Last night was my annual Christmas Open House. About 40 people came and it was a nice gathering. I love mixing people from different areas of my life.

My friend, Susan, came early yesterday afternoon and helped get ready. She was a God-send! It made my day go much smoother and I could be much more relaxed. She also brought me the most beautiful Christmas gift - a beautiful Czechoslavakian glass tea set. It is stunning. I will try to post some pix later. She even brought blackberry sage tea to go with it. That's what I'm having tonight to cap off the weekend.

Sondra came, and as always was delightful company. We have known each other a long time. I was noting last night that there were people here I've known the whole time I've lived in Hutchinson and also people I just met this past year.

I got to know Kris at Kansas Dialogue in August and really enjoyed her and her husband John. They are tons of fun. I was so thrilled they came last night.

There were some people missing that are always here, including Teresa who had to be out of town last night. But there were also a number of people who came for the first time last night. It was a nice mix.

I had a big crowd for awhile and then there were just a few of us left, but it all worked out perfectly.

I made a few different kinds of sweets and also had some things for those who can't eat sweets. I even made a sponge cake from scratch, with Julie in mind. She didn't come, but others enjoyed it. I sent the rest home with Jesse - his dad is diabetic so I thought maybe he would enjoy it.

Of course, Mark was a huge help as he always is. And Greg was taking photos and helping out in a variety of ways. He even took out my trash and recycling the night before. Mark did tons of things for me - from grocery shopping to carrying things to the basement and on and on and on.

I'm blessed to have great friends.

2006-12-10T11:34:00.000-08:00

Christmas Open House

2006-12-08T17:05:00.000-08:00

Peanut Brittle

Yesterday I made Peanut Brittle for the first time. Mama didn't like peanuts so we never made peanut brittle and I have just never gotten around to making it before.

Julie makes it every year with her family and some friends, and she brought some to Creative Sisterhood the other night. I've had it before and it's just delicious. Of course, how could something who's main ingredients are sugar and liquified sugar (syrup) not be yummy?

Once I had the mixture cooking I realized that neither of the two candy thermometers I had were working properly. So, some guess work entered into the process.

My mother always made candy without a thermometer, but I ain't my Mama. I need tools to help me. Even with them sometimes I get it just right and sometimes I get it close to right.

I think I cooked my peanut brittle a little longer than Julie did because mine is a more carmelized color. But, it's tasty. And, I have to confess, I love the crunch when you twist the cookie sheet and it cracks on its own. Fun!

OK, so maybe I'm easily amused. OK, so I know I'm easily amused. But, hey, I'm happy most of the time, too... so there you go.

I'm sure this will not be my last batch of peanut brittle. I'm also thinking cashews or almonds would be good instead of peanuts. Again, what can't be improved by being encased in cooked sugar?

As I write this, I have a sponge cake in the oven. Oddly enough, I've never made a sponge cake either. Considering how much I cook it's amazing I haven't, but I haven't. There has to be a first time for everything.

I used the recipe from the nut factory:

http://www.thenutfactory.com/kitchen/dessert/peanut-brittle.html

Traditional Peanut Brittle

2 cups sugar
1 cup light corn syrup
1 cup water
2 cups raw Spanish peanuts
1/2 tsp. salt
2 Tbsp. butter
2 tsp. baking soda

Heat and stir sugar, syrup and water in a heavy 3-quart saucepan until the sugar dissolves. Add salt. Cook over medium heat to soft ball stage (234 degrees). Add peanuts at 250 degrees. Cook to hard crack stage (290 degrees), stirring often. Remove from heat.

Quickly, stir in butter and soda. Beat to a froth for a few seconds. Pour at once onto 2 well-buttered 15-1/2x10-1/2x1-inch pans, spreading with spatula. If desired, cool slightly and pull with forks to stretch thin. Break up when cold.

Yield: About 1-1/2 pounds of peanut brittle.

2006-12-08T17:01:00.000-08:00

Peanut Brittle

2006-12-08T07:08:00.000-08:00

Beautiful Morning

Well, it is warming up a bit here - it's up to 18 at the moment. I woke up about 4:15 but didn't get up until around 7. I napped and did some writing and reading. But about 7 I remembered that my trash was by the back door instead of out in the alley and it's trash day.

Why? Well, to keep people from rooting through it. There aren't any cans in it - I recycle those - but there is something incredibly fascinating about my trash to someone. I understand why celebrities hate it when people go through their trash. I hate it and it's not like someone is going to print the contents of it in one of those trashy tabloids at the check out line.

I've got a red velvet cake in the oven. I was debating heading out to the Dutch Kitchen for breakfast but decided I should cook instead. I'm on track with everything but I will need to be busy today to stay on track. I have a few cleaning things to do yet, and a tiny bit of finishing on decorating but overall things are in decent shape.

Of course, my office door will be closed. It's always a disaster. It's a wonder my fingers have not been crushed by the stuff piled on either side of the keyboard crashing down on them at some inopportune moment.

Besides, the office is my more private room downstairs - it's where I spend a lot of time and where I do a lot of my thinking, planning, organizing. I'm starting to feel more private about such areas - not sure why, but I am.

2006-12-07T03:40:00.000-08:00

Glass Coffee Tables

Well, I'm up and doing things at 4:30 a.m. I went to bed last night before midnight so of course I woke up early. I have a speech at 6:45 this morning but I'm going to get some things done around the house before then.

I have only a couple of days to finish cleaning before my party, and I haven't done any of the cooking yet. But, that's all relatively easy to do.

I am generally pretty casual about cleaning - even when I'm having people over. But for Christmas I make an effort to have the house really nice. It's exhausting. I know now why I don't do it all the time. How do people manage to keep everything pristine all the time?

If I were a person who didn't have much "stuff," I suppose it would be easier since a large amount of the time is spent de-cluttering instead of actual cleaning. But, I'm a person who has stuff and I have been all my life. As I approach my 45th birthday I just don't foresee that changing.

Yes... 45 on Dec. 23... hard to believe. Yesterday I got a "nice" lecture from an acquaintance about my penchant for younger men. It's not that I only like younger men - it's more that only younger men seem to like me. I'm not sure what that says about me, but probably something negative about my maturity level. But, lets just be positive so early in the day and say it's my vivacious nature and excitement about life that they find appealing, instead.

I just do not meet men my own age. I don't know where they are - it seems there would be lots of us - we're the tail end of the boomers - but they must all be home watching television. And it's not like I'm hunting for them, anyway. Generally, people my own age, with a few exceptions, are wrapped up in such mundane things I can't even have a meaningful conversation with them. There's too much soccer practice and too little substance.

When people talk about the idea of "shared experiences" with people my own age because we grew up at the same time, they aren't taking into account that we were in college in the eighties - post pill, pre AIDS. Cocaine was readily available and we were trying to dull the shame of the disco era. Whatever shared experiences we had we're probably not proud of - if we can recall them. Sometimes they're just a jumble of images of naked bodies and white lines on glass coffee tables. This is an opportune time for me to mention I have never owned a glass coffee table.

2006-12-06T12:54:00.000-08:00

Quote of the Day

�The men the American public admire most extravagantly are the most daring liars; the men they detest most violently are those who try to tell them the truth.�
� H. L. Mencken

I ran across this quote today and realized just how incredibly true it is. I have witnessed it in my own life and certainly in our country's life.

2006-12-05T22:39:00.000-08:00

Creative Sisterhood

Tonight was Creative Sisterhood and it was a really good gathering, although we missed Virginia. She is sick and Martha is not feeling great either, although she did come.

We had our Christmas celebration tonight and exchanged presents. I love that, of course. Diana gave us all an antique ornament and mine was one I had admired in her store the other day. Teresa gave us each the cutest little stockings - so adorable. I had little ornaments that were frames and I put a "Creative Sisterhood 2006" bit inside each one. Julie brought homemade peanut brittle and Martha brought nuts from the Nifty Nut House.

I had made an orange cake tonight with orange glaze. I could not stop eating the peanut brittle and I also had a piece of cake so that's a lot of sugar for me. I don't often tempt fate that way with regard to the Atrial Fib. For reasons no medical person can figure out, and that makes no sense to me, when I eat a lot of sugar it brings on an A fib attack. So, I avoid eating much sugar. I've had more today than usual but I did not eat any all day long, anticipating I would have dessert tonight. Hopefully it won't be a problem, but I'll be more cautious tomorrow and not push it.

It was a good evening. And it is nice to have the Creative Sisterhood here.

And it prompted me to work on the house more. Tomorrow night I need to pretty much finish the house. I'm taking Thursday and Friday off to cook for the party, after a speech Thursday morning early.

Tomorrow I have a lot of MHA things I need to get out the door, prep work for the screening next week, and some other things. So, it will be a busy day.

2006-12-04T23:32:00.000-08:00

Christmas Shame

OK, for many years Greg and I have had this ongoing conversation - every Christmas - about how I overload the tree so much that it leans. It leans because I put more ornaments on the sides people can see.

Well, over the years Greg and I have come up with some ingenious ways to stabilize the tree. OK, truth be told, Greg has come up with them and I've pretty much just copied them.

At the moment the stand is bolted onto a 4 by 4 wooden base. I did that myself, just for the record, although it was copied after one Greg did years ago.

This year the tree has been leaning much worse because it has bent the stand - specifically the hole where the tree pole goes into it.

So, I knew what it needed was to be wired into the wall. How did I know this? Well, it's yet another technique Greg used at various times to hold the Christmas trees up.

When we lived together every Christmas was an extravaganza of engineering. Since we split up (almost a decade now, I think - wow) I made this big deal about he couldn't bitch about my trees anymore because he wasn't doing anything with them. However, guess who I called everytime I had a Christmas tree crisis. Yes, you guessed it - Greg. I swear, he is the best ex-bf a girl could have.

When I was with Nathan, he joked one time that Greg was entitled to complain about my Christmas trees forever, just because of what he had gone through in the past to stabilize them.

OK, fast forward to last night, when I'm on the phone with Greg saying, "When are you coming home?" He got stranded in Joplin due to the weather. Well, tonight he returned and stopped by to work on the tree.

The plan of attack was to drill a hole in the baseboard and screw in an eyelet. Then to take heavy guage picture wire and snake it around the pole, without disturbing the thousands of lights that are all over the place - including wrapped around the pole. Then position the tree and wire it into place.

Of course, this meant that Greg had to get behind the tree. Did I mention it's in a corner?

One of the things I've been teased about for a long time is that it's hot around the tree because of all the lights.

Needless to say, I was getting Greg cold water and anything else he wanted.

Fortunately he escaped with only some icicles attached to him. And only one ornament got broken in the process and that was my fault and not specifically related to the tree being moved around.

THANK YOU, Greg, for securing the tree into it's place. I told him he gained at least another three years of teasing me about the tree.

2006-12-03T21:56:00.000-08:00

Christmas Tree

This is what I've been doing the last few days. I think this tree is one of my finer creations.

I have enjoyed going through ornaments and remembering special times and people.

I bought this blue and white tree ornament when Matthew and I were in Amsterdam.

I will try to post some more ornament pix, but I really need Greg's magic touch. I took a dozen or so and this was the only one that was in focus. And they look so much better with natural light instead of flash.

2006-12-03T21:55:00.000-08:00

Houston Whiteside Tour

Today was the Houston Whiteside Tour. There were four houses and one was Sharon's house. I had hoped to see her and say hello but she wasn't there.

I love old houses and going on the tour reminded me of how much I need to do in my own house. I guess that's how it always is.

Next year the MHA will have a homes tour the first Sunday of December. We alternate with them so next year will be our turn. I have three houses but am still hunting for more.

2006-12-03T21:36:00.000-08:00

Cookie Messengers

So I'm decorating a Christmas tree tonight when the doorbell rings. I assume it's Terry dropping by since he's about the only one who really believes me when I say it's OK to drop by. It's always so pleasant to see him so I was smiling when I opened the door. And good thing...

Because there were about a dozen people on my front porch - ranging from 20 somethings to kids. They hand me a plate of homemade cookies and wish me Merry Christmas. I was so flabbergasted with this pleasant surprise I didn't even question who they were or why they were cookie messengers.

There was a handwritten, photocopied note attached to the cookies saying, "Merry Christmas. We are going to change this world. Christmas is a time to celebrate the day God decided to verse the downfall of all creation. Jesus came to this world to make and show the way to be truly human nad restore creation to all its glory. May all the Earth be filled with the Glory of God because... Jesus reigns forever. P.S. Love Wins.

There's no note about a particular church or group, although it is Sunday night of course.

I love the part of the message that "We are going to change this world." There is such optimism in that. No wonder I like younger people - they're optimistic that the world can change. Most of the people my age have long ago given up on making any real change in their lives or in anyone else's.

All in all it was a pleasant surprise. And a new experience. And you know how much I love those - I try to think something new, or do something new, or learn something new every day. Keeps life fresh. Who wouldn't want life to be fresh?

2006-12-03T21:23:00.000-08:00

Cookie Messengers

2006-12-03T09:29:00.000-08:00

Checking In

Susan called last night, saying that when I hadn't written since Nov. 30 she was concerned about me. So, I thought I'd best do a quick check in.

I did write a post since then but it must have gotten lost in a computer crash or other such foolishness. It was probably just a rant about politics or something - I don't even recall - I'm sure I'm still ticked about whatever it was, though. I'll get back to it as soon as I recall...

I've been busy decorating and tidying the house. Frankly, if I kept my house in more order all the time it wouldn't take me very long to get ready for things. But, I don't. I'm just not a tidy person when it comes to housekeeping. I am a "lived in" person so things are always "casual" at my house. But, once a year, for Christmas, I try to make it more organized. It will, unfortunately, be out the window again in no time. Thank goodness I have an upstairs where I can take things I haven't yet organized. Of course, it needs some major work up there - but that's more than just tidying. After the holidays perhaps I can get to some of that.

I have really neglected my online life the last few months. It seems real life is overflowing in so many directions I can't get it all reined in and kept that way for any amount of time.

This past week I was thinking I was on-track with a lot of projects and was going to get it all under control this weekend when I got a new project on Thursday evening. But, it's a graphic design job that results in me saving a few hundred dollars in the coming months, and making it possible for me to travel more, so I'll just have to work it in. And it's actually a fun job - I just don't have time to think about it and make it as creative as I'd like.

I had planned to get so much Christmas stuff done this weekend and I have done a lot. But I spent a large part of Saturday with "life stuff" - grocery shopping and other "hunting and gathering" necessary for life.

But, I'm just thankful I can afford to grocery shop and that I live where goods are plentiful. As I was shopping this morning, overhearing a man be downright rude to his wife - telling her what she could and couldn't buy in a quite terse tone, topping it off with how stupid she was - I reminded myself that I'm blessed to make my own way in the world and not have to deal with that sort of behavior out of anyone.

Rarely do I see couples shopping when it seems harmonious. I'm always reminded of it being a hallmark of spousal abuse when the husband won't leave his wife alone for even a few minutes. I'm sure it's not always the case, but I'm sure it is sometimes too.

I never know what is appropriate for me to say or do in such a circumstance. This is not a child, but a full grown woman, capable of making her own choices. But this morning I just used the technique suggested in cases where children are being verbally abused and said to the man, "excuse me, would you hand me one of those cartons of sour cream?" It seemed to distract him enough he got off her back for a moment. Who knows if it makes any long term difference, but it at least diffuses the situation for the moment. I didn't really need sour cream, but I'll just find a way to use it.

I'll be baking a lot in the coming week. My annual open house is next Saturday, the 9th. I still have decorating to do and some cleaning to do and on and on and on. But, I will just do what I have time and energy for and let the rest go. And on Saturday, at 5 p.m. I will retire to a bubble bath and leave whatever is not done undone. I refuse to be caught up in trying to make things "perfect." It's simply not possible. So, 90 minutes before the party begins, I will soak and relax and get ready so I can enjoy my own party.

I have about a dozen more cards to send - ones that have been returned or that I just got addresses for. I must get that done this weekend so they arrive in a timely enough manner. I always hope that everyone's card/invite arrives in time and I don't leave anyone out because I'm not thinking it through as much as I'd like. I used to have to limit my guest list because of space but now I can invite more because I have a bigger house. So, that's nice. If you're someone I like enough to send a Christmas card to, you're someone I'd invite to my house - it's so much easier! Of course, it's a busy time of year and so it ends up being a relatively small gathering. But, that's nice, too - it's cozy and comfy.

We were lucky here in Hutchinson and got only a tiny bit of snow, whereas less than an hour away from us parts of the state have been declared disaster areas. I am thankful. I just wasn't ready for a major winter storm quite yet. Maybe in January, after I get back from Kentucky, and after my conference in Texas, then I'll be ready. I'll enjoy a few days of holing up in the house and drinking hot cider and watching the snow. I just wasn't ready yet. Of course, we don't get any say about the weather - it just is.

I have more Christmas shopping yet to do this year than usual. Generally I'm all done by Thanksgiving but I just haven't found those special things this year yet. Of course, I haven't been into my stash to see what I have that I may have forgotten about. I need to keep an ongoing list in my PDA so I always have it with me and can reference it on trips and such.

Well, I must get back to one of my many tasks at hand. Needless to say, there is much to do in my world, as I guess there is in everyone's this time of year. However, today I am taking time to go to the Houston Whiteside Homes Tour. I always enjoy it and it only happens every two years so I don't want to miss it.

No doubt I'll come home feeling bad about the progress I've made in my own house in the past 4 1/2 years. A friend suggested the other day that when I get into another serious relationship, finding a man who's a contractor - a really, realy, really good contractor - would be wise. Unfortunately, as I pointed out to her, a good contractor wouldn't have time to be working on my house - he'd be busy with other people's houses. So, there you go. One of life's many conundrums.

2006-11-30T23:35:00.000-08:00

End of November

On this last day of November I've been in constant motion. I have pushed a ton of projects out the door, but still have a bunch to do. I really want to work more on my house but it seems I can't find time to do that. This weekend I'm devoting myself to that, although I am going to attend the Houston Whiteside Homes Tour on Sunday.

I had lunch with Leah today. It was good to see her. I just don't get to see her enough. It has been many months since I've had lunch with her.

Tonight I went to dinner with Sondra and as I was leaving to go pick her up I walked out to catch the tail end of a beautiful sunset. I was sorry I hadn't gone out a tiny bit earlier, but was glad I caught the last minute or two of it.

Tonight I have finished the DSB for Altrusa District Eight and have worked a little on the house. Of course, in the midst of bringing Christmas things up from the basement I decided to stop and change the furnace filters. It was the beginning of a bit of an ADD extravaganza, which resulted in my doing a variety of tasks.

I'm trying to convince myself to go take the trash out to the alley but it's 16 degrees with a wind chill of 5 and it just doesn't sound appealing to go outside at all. Besides, my dumpster is already full. I'll just let them empty it tomorrow and refill it during the daylight hours - that sounds like a better plan.

Besides, if I wait I can bring the dumpster up to the house where it's less likely to have people rooting around in it. I don't know what people find so appealing about my trash, but they can't seem to leave it alone. Which, as I've covered before, I find incredibly creepy. Honest to goodness, it's just trash - there is nothing exciting in it.

I hadn't gotten around to sharing this photo I took the day after Thanksgiving of Greg and his mom. We went to eat at the Gateway Creamery in Joplin, which is a cool place. It was the first time Greg and I had been there.

Anyway, they had this cool game table which we all played with. I really, really sucked at it. Greg sucked at it. Miss Joy wasn't bad at it.

2006-11-30T12:48:00.000-08:00

Kiva Loan

This is my latest Kiva loan. I love this. It's something that can make real, sustainable change in the world.

After I posted the one a few days ago, I had email from some readers who got enthused and decided to do this themselves. Please join in if you're so moved! It's a cool deal!

2006-11-29T23:26:00.000-08:00

Iraq Panel

The news is breaking now that the Iraq Panel has recommended withdrawal of troops. Well, duh. There's some good thinking. They apparently are not offering a time table. Here's one - yesterday. It can't happen soon enough.

We've created civil war in yet another place in the world. We're unable to control it. The "officials" there are unable to control it. You know who could control it? Saddam Hussein.

He was the guy who controlled it. Admittedly, his methods were not the greatest, but it's not like what we've created is good either. We've managed to kill more people faster - like that's better somehow.

It's a country with three factions and all any of them can agree on is that they hate the other two. Well, I guess they can all agree they hate us. And why wouldn't they?

We have created a whole new set of young men and women with life altering injuries, missing limbs, more mental health problems than we can even imagine at this point, and who knows what else. And what have we accomplished? We've removed the man who kept a lid on the warring factions, so they can be at war with each other, and with us, and soon with others in the region if we don't get out so things can calm down.

Meanwhile the "war on terror" that should be happening in Afghanistan is at a standstill. Isn't that what we were supposedly doing - fighting a war on terror - where the terrorist is? I think that's what congress agreed to do - after being lied to about weapons of mass destruction - fight a war on terror - against terrorists. I mean Bin Laden, just in case you've forgotten since it has been so long since "Mission Accomplished."

We've now been fighting in Iraq longer than we fought in WWII. Unfortunately, it bears a lot more resemblance to the war in Vietnam.

So, here's the Patsy Prediction.

1. We're leaving Iraq. Oh, we're going to maintain a presence in the area, but we're going to tuck tail and run now that we've made this mess. The American people have finally gotten tired of spending billions of dollars a week, and seeing 19 year olds come home without legs. We're slow, but eventually we do catch on. Obviously, our schools need to teach better critical thinking skills so we're not so damned slow on the uptake. But, people finally got it and voted in democrats to get us the hell out of Iraq. And, frankly, getting out is the best thing we can do - we are not wanted, welcome or wise there.

2. As soon as we get out of the way Muqtada al-Sadr is going to become the new Saddam Hussein. He's essentially leading the country already. We just need to get out of the way and allow the sectarian war that has been expected for years to happen. It's happening now with us in the middle of it, making it worse.

3. He will keep control the exact same way Saddam did because it's the only way control can be kept in this kind of circumstance.

Al-Sadr hates Americans more than Hussein did. And just in case there was anyone in the whole country who didn't already hate us, we've made sure to take care of that by invading Iraq and ruining their country, creating a situation where 3,700 Iraqi civilians have died just this month.

I've mentioned it before - but it bears repeating - the only kind of war that has any long lasting effect is true civil war. Not war we start - can you say "Sandinista" - but true civil war. All we do when we start a civil war - can you say "Iraq" - is prolong the inevitable.

Just go back to all news stories and cross out "Saddam Hussein" and write in "Muqtada al-Sadr."

Same song, different verse. ...and the chorus swells... fade to black... and we're out.

2006-11-29T15:58:00.000-08:00

Brrrrrr

It's brrrrr cold here. The wind chill is about 12 the last time I heard. I haven't been out since I got in from work and I don't intend to. I'm drinking hot cider and getting ready for a nice bubble bath - one of my favorite things to do on a cold night. Of course, it is also so my hair can dry overnight.

It takes many, many hours for my hair to dry because I don't use any "appliances" on it. When I went to bed last night they said on the 10 o'clock news the cold front would be here this afternoon. However, at 7 a.m. it was 21 degrees, so the cold front had obviously already arrived. I was NOT interested in greeting it with wet hair.

I'm so very glad I grocery shopped a few days ago. Dinner tonight is a baked sweet potato that's in the oven now. I made black bean soup yesterday so I have some of that in the fridge too. All in all I can just cocoon tonight. I will do some more Christmas things and call it a successful evening at home.

2006-11-28T22:38:00.000-08:00

Misc.

Tonight was Chicks and it was great as always. My topic of the evening was leadership. It's something I would recommend to anyone, but I do want the next level of class. I think that's something that will be coming down the pike eventually.

I have spent the day trying to juggle dozens of different things. That seems to be my life in a nutshell these days. But I'm thankful to have a job I enjoy and the health to lead a full life.

For those of you who have emailed regarding the post about Michael Richards, I appreciate your thoughts, but I stand by my post. There are things you cut people a lot of slack for and there are things you hold their feet to the fire for. I contend this falls into the latter category.

2006-11-28T22:16:00.000-08:00

Big Idea Person in a Small Project World

I was reminded again today that I am a "Big Idea Person" in a "Small Project World."

People always say they want big ideas, and they enjoy discussing them, but no one really wants to take them on. Big ideas require a lot of work. Big work.

Instead people want to implement small projects. They can accomplish them in a short amount of time, with little money or commitment, and then move on - feeling like they've done something important.

Somehow those big ideas get pushed aside so small projects can be implemented. Unfortunately, big ideas don't come to fruition through small projects, unless people can look at the big picture and do a lot of small projects. But that never seems possible.

Small projects just result in accomplishing small things. Ah... such is life.

2006-11-27T21:40:00.000-08:00

The Day

I have spent the day moving from one project to another, without a moment's down time. And, yet, unfortunately, few projects are completed. I did take time for dinner with Julie tonight after a meeting.

I had planned to continue decorating when I got home but I worked on cards instead. I have four Christmas letters left. I think I will just not send letters with any other cards I send. I don't want to have to make more. Maybe I'll call office max and see if they still have it in their system - if so maybe I'll get more. If I have to resend the whole thing it's not worth it.

I suppose it's quite presumptuous of me to think anyone will want to read my Christmas letter anyway, so it doesn't matter. I think everything in it of any consequence is on the blog anyway.

Tomorrow I'm going to do some running around town.It's supposed to be a nice day, and it may be the last one for awhile. So, I'm going to make use of it. I have a long list of MHA things to take care of and some of them require some running around. I'll enjoy them much more if it's 70 than I will if it's 30.

I am going to head upstairs to bed - it's rare for me to do that before midnight but I got up very early today and haven't slept well lately.

Sleep and I never seem to be on the best of terms. I never, ever, get it when people talk about wanting to sleep - it's a bit of torture for me every day/night. And napping - oh my - why would I want to do it more than I already have to?

If I can just squeeze in about 6 hours a night that's plenty. I'm guessing I may actually sleep about 4 of those hours, and about 90 minutes of that is deep, restful sleep. I'm awake 4 hours after going to sleep and will go back to sleep for another two hours - waking often, but resting some. Then for another hour or two after I wake up I try to write or read so I'm at least getting rest even if I can't sleep.

2006-11-27T11:40:00.000-08:00

Racist Talk

I have refrained from commenting here about Michael Richards' racial outburst. However, as of today, I am done refraining. He keeps apologizing so there's no reason for me to not enter into the conversation.

OK, here's the deal, I honestly didn't know there were people walking around using the n-word in their heads - and probably to their friends - to describe people. Oh, I know some who use it outloud - I'm from the south - but I didn't realize there were people walking around thinking it but not saying it.

Frankly, I'm even more disturbed by that. At least when someone is blunt I know where they stand. Now I'm wondering who else is walking around with these thoughts in their heads, but I don't know it because their speech doesn't betray their true feelings. And that is ultimitely the issue - their true feelings.

I realize how naive I am. I thought we were so far beyond this. Like decades beyond it. Surprise. I hate ugly surprises.

I have been very pissed at people before. But I can't imagine a time when the n-word would have been a way I would have chosen to express that anger. Am I less angry? No. But that word just doesn't exist in my vocabulary as a way to describe people so it wouldn't come up. Am I holier than thou? No. Absolutely not. I might use a string of other offensive terminology, but there are lines that are not to be crossed and that is one of them.

Things like referring to people as "niggers" and saying the "Jews are responsible for all the wars in the world" are just not things that are part of what's going on in my brain so they're not going to pop out, even in moments of anger.

And, therein, lies the problem. If those things are coming out of your mouth, they're in your brain somewhere - in your consciousness enough that you can say them without having to think too hard about them. They're in your possible list of insults, just waiting to be pressed into service. And it's hard to believe this is the first time you've ever used them.

Mel Gibson and Michael Richards are just two examples of people who are obviously walking around with feelings we didn't know about. I was happier not knowing.

I won't ever look at "Kramer" the same way. I'm sure Richards' costars really appeciate him choosing to do this just as the Seinfeld DVDs came out for the holidays.

He says he has some anger issues and that he doesn't know where this came from. Well, none of us do. Can anger cause you to hurl insults you're not using - at least occasionally - in your every day private life? Can anger cause you to make statements you don't "feel" at some level of your core being? I don't know. I'm doubtful. But that's a question for the psychologists. He is seeing one now, he says.

I'm guessing Richards will head off to rehab for something soon. It's the answer for any inappropriate behavior from public figures - from sending sexual emails to young men to blaming the Jews for all wars.

Unfortunately, once those words are "out there" they can't be taken back. It's why I have a framed postcard by my door that says, "Les mots qu'on n'a pas dits sont les fleurs du silence." Roughly translated it means, "The words not spoken are the flowers of silence." It's just a nice way to remind myself as I walk out the door every morning to try to keep my mouth shut. I'm more successful some days than others, but at least I don't have things like that rattling around in my brain to keep under control.

2006-11-26T17:43:00.000-08:00

Kiva

Sometimes you learn about an idea and you just know it's a big idea. That's what kiva.org is - a big idea.

You can change someone's life with a $25 loan. You'll even get paid back.

Kiva.org works with non-governmental organizations (non profits) in various places around the world. Local entrepreneurs apply for loans and it's then posted on the website. You can pick who you want to support in what areas of the world and by what they're doing.

I chose to lend to a woman in Togo for money for a beauty salon - her profile will be in the box above until her project is completely funded, then another one will appear. You can read more her or any of the others by going to kiva.org yourself.

You get paid back over the next few months, without interest. It's an ingenious idea that allows the average person to invest $25 or more, and make a real difference.

I support Heifer International for the same reason - it's doing something that will have long term effect.

Go take a look at Kiva and find something you'd like to loan to. It feels good.

2006-11-25T20:48:00.000-08:00

The Tree

I put more decorations on the tree - actually, that's what I've been doing for the last two and a half hours. I kept thinking I was done, but then I would see a bare spot. When I decided I was really done I went to the basement to take some ornament boxes and discovered an unopened ornament box.

Of course I had to bring it up and go through it. Last year I didn't use all my ornaments and missed some of my favorites. I knew there were two boxes I didn't open last year. Well, this was one of them and I got to rediscover some of my cherished ornaments.

In that box were two glass balls that Mia beaded around that I like to have near the top of the tree. Also, a little teapot ornament that a former board member gave me one year. It also had the ornament I bought at Monticello and a glass star I got at Kate's Paperterie in NYC.

It also had a painted ceramic bell my friend Leah's son, Zach, did when he was about five. He's almost 15 now. Another gift from a friend's child, David Naylor's daughter, Ariana, gave me a dough star with glitter on it when she was little. Well, actually, it was really her mom, Kristin, who gave it to me but I have treasured it all these years. That was probably 12 years ago.

I didn't look at the tag on it, but I do try to tag things with the date and names so I don't have to guess how long it has been. If people give me an ornament and it has a name tag on the gift I try to just save the tag. But, I also just buy little tags that I add to the ones I can't write on.

Decorating the tree is always such a memory-rich experience for me. There are ornaments people have given me, and things I've picked up on trips. There are things people have made, and things they selected specifically for me. I love them all.

I cannot imagine not wanting to have a Christmas tree. It will be a sign to me that I'm getting old if I ever don't want to put up a tree. It's always an indication to me that someone has entered another phase of life when they choose not to decorate. It's something I associate with elderly people, although I know many older people who still decorate trees. My mom did every year.

Of course, sometimes you have to scale back for one reason or another. When I was house-hunting I didn't decorate extensively because I realized I could be moving at any time.

But it's one of the things I love to have - a beautiful, sparkling, bright, cheery Christmas tree. Mine is ready for the icicles and then it will be done. I will try to post some pix soon.

2006-11-25T18:03:00.000-08:00

Congratulations Salt Hawks

OK, I'm so not a sports person, despite the fact that the UK Wildcats played a large part in my choice of a university. However, the local High School Football team just won its third state championship in a row. That's impressive, even if you're not a sports fan. So... Congratulations Hutchinson Salt Hawks.

I can't tell you a darned thing about the season - I've been barely aware of it - but even I know a state championship is very cool - much less three in a row. What a treat for the guys who have gotten to play in all three of those games.

2006-11-25T15:32:00.000-08:00

Cards and an ID-10-t error

Well, about 95% of my Christmas cards are in the mail. I have some left to do and some that I need to do address corrections on. Due to my own stupidity, I have to reenter some addresses into the computer. It was NOT computer error, it was definitely an ID-10-t error and I'm the idiot. Oh well... all of life is a learning experience.

I just got back from a Thanksgiving trip to Joplin and dropped off a chunk of the cards in Wichita. Since they would go from Hutch to Wichita and back again I thought I'd just short circuit that journey.

I went grocery shopping on my way into town, so I don't have to leave the house again tonight and I can finish the tree and do some other decorating.

Christmas is exactly ONE MONTH from today. I want to enjoy every moment of the season. You only get so many Christmases in a lifetime. I want to relish every one.

2006-11-25T00:12:00.000-08:00

Well, I was out with the masses this morning, hunting bargains. It's only my second time to be out in the day after Thanksgiving rush. It's OK the first stop or two, but after that it becom1es a nightmare as more people drag themselves out of bed.

Frankly, if you're not going to get up and go early there isn't much point I don't think. Of course, "early" to some people means beginning Thanksgiving afternoon. I'm not that devoted.

My big purchase of the day was an external hard drive at $100 less than retail after rebates. It was worth getting up early for and worth fighting the crowds for - mainly because there were plenty of the hard drives and no fighting was necessary.

This is what a happy shopper looks like. Still tired, but happy.

I realized as Greg was taking pix that I had not even brushed my hair, much less applied any makeup before leaving this morning. And, unfortunately, I've noticed that I've reached "that age" where I look a lot better with makeup than without it. Most people would be smart enough to not post such a thing on the world wide web, but here it is - me after just rolling out of bed and heading to the stores. I did brush my teeth, but that was about it. I broke my mother's cardinal rule - never leave the house without lipstick. I think that's twice this week I've done that.

One morning Greg and I went to Skaets for breakfast and I thought, "oh, gosh, I never see anyone there I know in the morning - I can go without any makeup." We hadn't even gotten seated until I heard Andrea saying hello and introducing us to her parents who were visiting. It was great to meet them, even though I was doing it without any lipstick.

After a couple of stops this morning, Greg and I went to have breakfast. Then I had a nap. Then Greg had a nap. Then I had another nap. Who needs tryptophan when there's wee-hours-of-the-morning shopping to be done?

2006-11-23T21:52:00.000-08:00

It is officially the Christmas season. Now no one can argue with me that the holiday season has arrived. Of course, for me it has been going on for a few weeks. I need prep time.

My tree is about 95% finished, and that's my biggest project for the holidays. I will finish it by the weekend.

I'm working on my Christmas cards tonight. I try to mail a majority of them the day after Thanksgiving. I dropped some in the box tonight already. Of course, I continue to send them throughout the season, but I try to get a lot of them out early.

People always give me a hard time about my Christmas card list. They joke about me working on them months in advance, but they would be hurt if they didn't get one. It's one of those things I'm somehow supposed to magically accomplish without ever working on. I experienced this at a former employer too - all these things were supposed to be done but I wasn't ever supposed to be spending time on them. As of yet I've not figured out how to do that.

I had hoped to have a night to get together with friends and work on cards, but it didn't happen. A couple of people had asked me about doing it and I suggested they host it. No one did - at least not that I was invited to. So, I did my cards as I always do. I would have enjoyed chatting with people while I was doing some of them but I just wasn't in the mood to host it. I still have a number of them to do, but I have at least half of them done.

It has been a gorgeous Thanksgiving Day today - just beautiful. It was a fun day, with a delicious turkey dinner with all the trimmings. I hope you have had a great day. And, let me be the first to wish you a Merry Christmas!

2006-11-22T22:19:00.000-08:00

Thanksgiving

It is officially Thanksgiving. I hope you have much to be thankful for this year, and I hope you take time to list some of those things.

I try to spend time each day being grateful. I have so very much to be thankful for. I am healthy. I have much love in my life. I have family I adore and friends I cherish.

It is good to remind ourselves to be thankful for things we take for granted, too. On Maslow's scale, few of us are worried about the basics of food, shelter and safety. We are somewhat unique in this among our world's neighbors. We should never take it for granted. We are fortunate.

2006-11-22T19:45:00.000-08:00

Purpose of Business

Black Friday is approaching and already the stories are out about toys that are hard to find. I don't have a child who could be disappointed, but I am so incredibly sick of this whole scenario. Every year it's always something. There aren't enough of whatever.

I hate being played by the manufacturers who want to create artificial demand for their product so they don't make enough. It's so idiotic. Most retailers make half of their income during the holiday season. People want to buy products from the retailer. Manufacturers won't make the products for the people to buy.

I cannot figure out what, exactly, people are trying to accomplish sometimes. It would seem that if you're in business, you want to sell products, but there is considerable evidence to the contrary.

I went to buy prescriptions the other day and found that one was 90 days, as I had asked for, and the other was 60 days. I say, "this isn't right." They say, "oh, we will have to call to get a refill on that." I'm looking at them wondering why they haven't. They start explaining how it's my fault for not getting the same number of pills last time. I just looked at the woman and said, "At some point today, you knew there were only 60 pills. Why didn't you call then, instead of waiting until I come in to pick them up and then tell you to call? Please put a note in my file to just call when the situation arises."

The next day I go in to pick up the other pills. They have not called, they're not ready, they've done nothing. Anticipating this, *I* had called the doctor's office to have them call it in.

But the question remains - are you not engaged in the business of selling me drugs? Is that not your primary business? Why, then, are you making it so difficult for me to purchase drugs from you? I'm wanting to buy more drugs. Isn't this good for business?

It's the same mentality of the printing company I use that doesn't keep a particular paper in stock so everytime I'm doing a newsletter I have to call in advance and make sure they have the paper. Their reason for not having it in stock? They sell a lot of it. OK. If you sell a lot of it, then why wouldn't you order more of it so you have it in stock for people to buy? Are you not in the business of selling things printed on paper? Then why do you not keep the paper that is so popular on hand so people can buy things printed on it?

I'm no business genius, but this seems pretty straight forward to me.

It's the same reason I can't buy my favorite pop a large part of the time. It's almost always just empty shelving. So, why would you not devote more shelf space to the thing that is always empty, instead of having 24 extra cartons of something else that no one is buying? They're not buying it because it's still on the shelf.

The true purpose of business is obviously something other than selling products. Because if selling products were the purpose I would be able to purchase them much more readily. It would not be necessary for me to call for refills, to remind people to order their supplies, and make 3-4 trips before I can find pop on the shelves. The mystery is that I can't determine what the purpose is.

2006-11-21T20:52:00.000-08:00

Christmas Parade

Saturday we were in the Christmas parade, with Clarence the dino, as usual. Greg really makes this possible for us to do every year.

He and Terry and I put Clarence on top of the van the night before. At the moment, he's still up there because we haven't been able to coordinate our schedules for 10 minutes to take him down.

I drove in the parade and Greg handed out candy canes. Also helping with distributing candy canes were the Briebiesca clan - Jesse, Joey and Christopher, and Peggy and Gary helped for the first time.

Greg took pix, which I'm sharing here. I tried to take a few during the parade, but you really have to pay attention to what's going on when you're driving. People are not very smart and will let their kids run out to get candy.

A few years ago a girl got her foot run over doing that so people are not supposed to throw candy anymore. We don't, but we are about the only ones. However, I'd just as soon a candy cane with a tag with the MHA on it not be what someone is after when they get run over. So, we hand them out, like we're supposed to.

The parade is always fun but it is some work. Next year we'll have the homes tour to promote so we'll be doing it again.

2006-11-20T21:11:00.000-08:00

Cocooned

I am cocooned in my house tonight, working on the Christmas tree while drinking Constant Comment tea. Before Thanksgiving I hope to have the tree finished. I'm going to have to hussle to get that done.

Sometimes I wish I could just do Christmas like other people do - a couple of hours and be done. But, that's just not my way. I put a photo from last year up a few days ago. Needless to say, that takes awhile to get that done.

I spent all morning running from one thing to another. I had an eye doctor's appointment, and guess I'll be wearing these glasses for awhile yet. The new contacts I want to get that you can wear for 30 days aren't available in bifocals yet. As soon as they are I want to get those. My prescription has changed a bit, but nothing major - not worth getting new glasses for.

I managed to work in a lot of things today. I need to tidy up my office a bit after doing candy canes Friday but it's not too bad. I didn't work on it any today. I was hoping the internet would be up at my office since it was down at home, but no such luck. They obviously had a major problem.

I am feeling a bit better, although I did spend most of the afternoon in bed. Those who know me well know I am not a napper, so that's really unusual. I think the problem is that when I'm in bed the coughing keeps me from getting fully rested. So, it takes many hours to equal a normal amount of rest.

I'm starting to wonder if one round of antibiotics is going to do the trick. I may need an extra one. Unfortunate that this is all in the midst of a holiday week, when they won't be in the office normal hours. Obviously, I can't wait until Thursday to decide I need more drugs.

Well, I'd best get back to working on the tree or it won't be done by Thanksgiving.

2006-11-18T22:42:00.000-08:00

Candy Canes!

Friday I had volunteers come in and tape little tags to candy canes that we handed out in the Christmas parade Saturday morning. This is always a good event for us, but it does require some prep work.

The first part of it is buying the candy canes when they're on sale after Christmas! I run a non profit, so I have to get a deal on them in order to be able to do this event.

It went very well. Gary and Peggy walked for the first time, handing out candy canes. Jesse, Joey and their nephew, Chris did as well. And, of course, Greg did. We never seem to have enough people. I'm not sure how many that would take. It's a fun event.

There are some great volunteers who come in to help with various projects, and Doris is one of my favorites. She has done so many things for me over the years. They were teasing me that I was probably the only person who would ask for taping mini-flyers onto candy canes.

Other than what I had to do to get ready, I've been in bed. I have a respitory infection and haven't felt the greatest. I called the doc for some antibiotics on Friday and am feeling better with those in my system, but I will be glad when I am well again.

I hardly ever get sick and this is the second time I've had this in about three months. Hopefully this will be it for being sick for me for the whole winter, plus some.

I got all my test results back from the recent physical, and all was good. Cholesterol was 104, sugar was 100, everything all normal. I have a mammogram in January - hopefully that will come back normal as well. And I see the eye doctor Monday. I think I'll be getting new glasses because I know I'm spending way too much time lifting these to see something close. That means a new prescription. I'm just glad I live in a time when I can get such a thing.

I'm working on Christmas cards, trying to gather the addresses I need to find for various people I've met in the past year that aren't already in the files. I used to hand address all my cards, but a few years ago started using the computer. Otherwise I just wouldn't get it done. I realize it's not as personal, but there you go. I also do one of those letters that are loved by some and hated by others. Again, not as personal, but I simply am not going to write 300 notes into cards. So, it's a compromise.

At this point, the rush is to get the ones out that have invitations in them for timely events. Others can go out anytime between now and Christmas.

I know cards have become a less common thing, but I really think they're something people love to get.

2006-11-16T23:12:00.000-08:00

Leadership Graduation

Leadership Graduation was Wednesday night. Each of the five project groups made a little presentation about what we did.

I don't have any photos of my group, of course, since I was in it. But I did get a chance to snap some pix of three of the groups, and our instructors, Lynette and Kris.

One of our class members was thoughtful enough to spearhead getting bouquets of flowers for them as thank yous. (Thank you, Jennifer, for taking care of that!) They both put a lot of themselves into the class and it is appreciated.

One group did a logo for Leadership Reno County, which was great.

Another group took on putting up a sign for Lincoln School. Janice, with the kids in this photo, has been instrumental in working on that area. Curtis, who has the mic, has been a delight to get to know. He is a contractor with Heib Construction and has an amazing sense of humor. He did a great job making their presentation fun. Of course, kids always help that a bit.

Curtis also helped with another project where they built a shed for Big Brothers/Big Sisters. Connie, who was in that project group, did a whole power point presentation about that and it was great fun to watch.

Our group delivered brochures about watering to the homes where the city has planted trees. And the final group also did a "green" project.

They identified all the various green spaces in the area, and linked them into a map online. There were some I wasn't aware of on their list.

All in all, it was a great experience to do the leadership class. I really enjoyed getting to know these folks.

They asked us early on if we had a sinking feeling when we saw the list of, "oh, no, not that person..." but I didn't because I didn't really know any of these folks. There were three people that I knew who they were, but I didn't know any of them well - two of them just to know who they were and nothing more.

At the end of the class, I can honestly say that I like everyone more than I did at the beginning of class and would not hesitate to get together with anyone from class. There are some folks I'm really going to miss seeing every week.

2006-11-16T16:09:00.000-08:00

A Less Stressful Day

I took today off since I'm working this weekend. I needed a day of relaxing a bit.

Of course, I have pretty much been in constant motion all day, working on Christmas things. I'm not sure being on the move all day is exactly relaxing, but I did get some things done. Not as much as I would have liked, of course.

It takes so much work to get my house the way I want it for the holidays. But I enjoy it so very much. Of course, then I have to dismantle it all, too. But, it's worth it.

I've added another gathering to my December calendar - a get together for my leadership class. It will be fun to see everyone again.

I love to entertain, particularly in December. The house is decorated and it's a breeze to have people over.

Tonight is Creative Sisterhood. I have everything ready and am just taking a little break before everyone arrives. I should probably be collating/folding/stapling my Christmas letter instead of blogging!

2006-11-15T22:50:00.000-08:00

"Hoity-Toity"

I am thinking a lot these days about my life and how I'm perceived by others. I have come to realize that some people consider me "hoity-toity." That is so incredibly far removed from who I am and how I was raised that it's hard for me to even wrap my mind around it.

I grew up on a farm in Kentucky - at the dead-end of Terrell Rd., which didn't even have a name when I was growing up on it. It was a house my parents bought in 1949.

My childhood was filled with what we now euphemistically call "risk factors."

My father was an alcoholic, and died when I was 11, leaving my mother as a single parent. I was very fortunate that my mother was an extraordinary human being and an exceptional parent who put what was best for me above all else. Her belief in what was best for me was to get an education and that was all she focused on. Of my four nephews and me, only two of us went to college.

We were poor when I was a kid - don't get me wrong, we were never hungry - but we were poor. Only in retrospect do I realize just how poor we were. I guess being in the first Head Start class would have been one clue. But children don't think about those things.

I remember when the indoor plumbing was put into our house - I was young, but old enough to remember it. My cousin, Jimmy, helped dig the septic tank. I was young enough to think playing in the big hole they were making was fun. There probably are not too many people age 44 who can remember that, but I do. And, frankly, I'm blessed to be able to say that, because it gives me a very different perspective on the world.

I grew up saying, "ain't" and not knowing there was a different way until my third grade teacher, Mrs. Chandler, insisted we change. I would never have had the broadcasting career I had without her influence. I saw my first movie at the theatre at age 11. I was with my cousin, Brian, and it was as foreign to me then as trying to write in Chinese would be to me now. I knew people do such things, but I have never seen it myself.

I was never more than 200 miles from home until I was 13, when we went to visit my Aunt Eva in El Paso.

Verbal abuse between the adults in my world was an every day occurrence. It does something to you when you hear that every day - I'm not sure exactly what - but I'm sure it's no accident that my first career choice of working in radio involved controlling sound.

My childhood had loss, poverty, alcoholism and a good sprinkling of sexual abuse added in. But, when I was living it, I didn't give it a second thought - it just "was." And even in retrospect, I am more thankful for it than traumatized by it. Maybe that's because of the years of therapy, but I can honestly say it's true - now.

Yet I would still describe my childhood as idyllic in many ways. Is that a defense mechanism or is it just choosing to focus on what's "right?" I don't know.

I refuse to be defined by things that happened "to" me. I will only be defined by things I "chose." Those I will take responsibility for, even if the choices were not necessarily the best that could have been made, and I have a long list of those. We all have to learn - some lessons we have to learn "the hard way," and that was true for me with some things. I truly believe you do the best you can with the person you are at the time and when you know better, you do better. I do better now than I did when I was 20. Hopefully in another 20 years I'll do better still.

When I was growing up, I never imagined I'd walk in the Paris snow or bask in the Egyptian sun. I could never have imagined I'd go to Honduras to see the work of the foundation who's board I chaired. I probably didn't know Honduras existed. I could not have imagined I would attend Broadway shows or converse intelligently about impressionist art. Frankly, I didn't even know there were any people like that, much less that I would ever desire to be one of them.

I didn't think about the days I would walk the ground inside the Roman Coliseum, pray inside the pyramid of Unas at Sakkara, or stand inside the ancient circle of Stonehenge. I did not dream of being kissed on the banks of the Nile River, charmed by a Frenchman met on a cruise ship, or being moved to tears at the Anne Frank house in Amsterdam.

I didn't dream those things or any others. I didn't have dreams, at least not that I can recall. I'm not sure when I started having dreams. And it wasn't really dreams as much as the belief that things are possible - and that you'd better get about doing them because there may be no tomorrow.

I went to my first funeral of someone I loved when I was five. My great Aunt Ann had been a big part of my young life. Her death taught me things can change very quickly. Don't plan for a future that may not come. I've never felt there was a future - only right now - only this moment - it's all there is.

Somewhere along the way I started to have dreams, but they were still small ones. But I started to dream. I started to want to live a different life. I didn't know what it was, or what it looked like, but I knew it was different.

And as these ideas took hold I developed an idea that the world should be fair - for everyone. That led me to a career in journalism for radio, print and TV. Once I understand how the media worked I realized that could be used in PR and marketing in a different way. Now I use all those skills for mental health, as well as other projects.

How did I get to be this person? I don't know. I'm trying to figure that out. As often is the case, Greg gave me some insight when we were talking. He said I am not a "climber," leaving anything behind. Instead I kept all of what I was raised with and just added to it. Instead of leaving anything behind I just added to it, broadening the spectrum.

Maybe this is why I have been in love with a farm boy and I have been infatuated with a judge. Maybe it's why I love barbecue but my favorite dessert is bananas foster. Maybe it's why I'm familiar with the music of Kenny Chesney and Johann Sebastian Bach. Maybe it's why I stay in touch with people over a long time period - they're still part of my life, even if it's a different time.

Maybe it's why I can never decide where I belong, because I don't live in only one world, but I'm not really accepted by either. I'm a little too rough around the edges for "society" and a little too "hoity-toity" for others.

When people suggest that I'm "hoity-toity," it makes me feel unloyal to my upbringing, although I have no control over how others perceive me. I'm not sure why it matters to me, but it does. I want people to know who I am, with all the stages of my life represented, and still accept me - or not. But I don't want to be judged on only this one sliver of life - for it is just a moment, a brief moment, and tomorrow will be different.

2006-11-14T22:43:00.000-08:00

Long days

I have had a very long day, that has stretched into the next day, which is yet another very long day. I'm about to get worn out. It takes a lot for me to feel overwhelmed, but I'm getting close. The first quarter of the year is incredibly busy but this has turned into a very busy last quarter as well. I can go, go, go, go, go for a long time, but eventually I get to the point where I need some rest. I'm there. I must get to bed because I need to get up in five hours.

2006-11-13T14:49:00.000-08:00

Buddhist evening prayer

I ran across this today and thought it worthy of noting. It's a Buddhist evening prayer.

Let me respectfully Remind you,

Life and death are of supreme importance

Time swiftly passes by and opportunity is lost.

let us awaken

Awaken

Take heed

Do not squander your lives...

2006-11-12T12:23:00.000-08:00

Scenes of Life

I've been so occupied lately that I've not been taking the time to post pix of various scenes in my world, or even write here. Needless to say, I've been spending a lot of time with politics - locally and calling for races in other places. And, of course, having one day a week devoted to leadership has taken some significant energy. This week is my turn to work with a group to do the setup so it will be even more time.

Last weekend was the Altrusa This and That sale. I didn't help at all. I just could not commit to one more thing when they were asking for people to agree to do various things. Plus, I wasn't sure if I would be in town. But, I was, and stopped by to buy my pecans. Altrusa orders fresh crop pecans to sell there and they are wonderful. I bought five pounds of them to use.

Jocelyn had a booth set up so I ended up visiting with her for an hour or so. It was good to see her. Now that she's in Wichita all week it's hard to hook up with her.

I did go take a walk at sandhills one day with Greg. The hedg eapples are all over the ground in places. These things are great to put in your basement - they keep the crickets away. I don't know why. I just know it works. And if you keep the crickets away you keep the spiders away because they come to eat the crickets.

We have had some great days here weatherwise, although the last few days fall has arrived with more blustery days and night.

But this particular day it was gorgeous outside and we decided to take advantage of it with a late afternoon walk.

Of course, I wrote about going to see Garrison in Lindsborg. I didn't get a chance to mention that across from Presser Hall is this church. They had the lights on so the stained glass was beautiful.

I ran into an old friend at the Keillor performance, but didn't have time for more than saying hello. Sometimes there are people in your world that you have a history with that you don't see for a long time and then when you do it's instant connection again. He and I are like that. We may not see each other for years, even though we live within 30 miles of each other, and when we do I'm reminded of how much I miss him.

However, neither of us makes the effort to connect any other time. I'm not sure why. I used to, but it was just too complex to work out schedules. And, generally, when it's that complex it just means the other person doesn't really want to get together - for whatever reason.

We don't have any "baggage" between us so I'm not sure what the reason is, but it is obviously there. If people are "too busy" for five years to get together, they don't want to get together with you. Five weeks I can understand. Even five months if your life is full. But, not years.

I really enjoy being around him, and when we're together he seems to feel the same, but I long ago accepted that he obviously does not share my interest in getting together.

Teresa has told me before that it "takes a lot of energy" to be around me. So, maybe that's the deal - it's just too much energy for him to expend. Whatever the case. I'll just be happy to see him when I bump into him and let it go at that.

It's not like I'm hard to find - google my name and you can find an email for me in about two seconds. So, if he ever has a desire to get together we can. Otherwise we'll just exchange the occasional pleasantry and let it be.

2006-11-11T09:33:00.000-08:00

Jason from ATT

I had a great Random Act of Kindness this week.

I was walking into my office building after a late lunch on Thursday and my cell rang. When I answered a guy said, "Patsy, this is Jason with ATandT." I thought it was a marketing call but thank goodness I didn't cut him off.

He went on to say, "I found your name tag in the Ken's Pizza parking lot. I had a ticket near your office so thought I'd drop it by but I see you're not in." I told him I was just coming into the building and so he waited for me upstairs and gave it back to me.

I thanked him profusely. It was so sweet of him to pick it up, track me down, come to my office and return it to me. The timing was great, as well.

It was the epitome of a Random Act of Kindness.

2006-11-10T22:09:00.000-08:00

Holiday Preparations - Art of Gracious Living #48

I love the holidays and have learned over the years that early preparation is key to enjoying the time fully.

Christmas is much closer than we realize. Cards can be addressed now, party plans made, and decorating started. By the time December rolls around you'll be able to just enjoy the season, with far less stress.

I'm working on my tree, finishing my cards and wrapping gifts. I invite you to consider starting now so you'll be able to just enjoy the moments of the season a month from now.

Hear more about it by listening to the Art of Gracious Living Podcast.

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2006-11-10T22:08:00.000-08:00

Common Language - Art of Gracious Living #47

Dr. David Franz, a bioterrorism expert, told a story at a recent lecture about finding a common language and how that facilitated communication between his team and a Russian team in early 1994. This was a turning point in his career, when he came to see science as a common language.

We can all apply this to our daily lives. While we might not be able to use science as our common language, maybe we can use art or music or something else. Finding ways we can connect always helps us to communicate effectively with others.
Hear more about it by listening to the Art of Gracious Living Podcast.

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2006-11-10T21:54:00.000-08:00

Being Open - Art of Gracious Living #46

I recently took a trip with a friend. The idea of being open became a motto for us during our travels. We each had experiences we would not have had left to our own devices because we went along on excursions the other person wanted to do.

Greg went with me to tea at the Empress Hotel in Victoria, Canada. I went to the Alibi Tiki Bar in Portland with him.

Part of leading a gracious life is being open to experience.

Hear more about it by listening to the Art of Gracious Living Podcast.

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2006-11-10T21:47:00.000-08:00

Clutter Control Overdone - Art of Gracious Living #45

So much is made these days about clutter control and clearing your space, but it is important to keep the things that matter to you close. Things that make us feel good, that remind us of pleasant times are not clutter, as the experts are so fond of telling us, they are memories and deserve to be treated with respect.

Of course we cannot keep every item that comes into our lives, but we also don't need to get rid of everything that does not have a defined purpose in daily life. Sometimes the purpose of something is to provide comfort with its mere existence.

Hear more about it by listening to the Art of Gracious Living Podcast.

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2006-11-10T21:46:00.000-08:00

Infinite Possibilities - Art of Gracious Living #44

It's easy to get caught up in the details of daily life and forget that we have infinite possibilities. We have options that we often don't full consider because we are not looking beyond our current obligations.

Give yourself some breathing room to look at options for expanding your horizons.

Hear more about it by listening to the Art of Gracious Living Podcast.

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2006-11-09T18:59:00.000-08:00

Democrats Have Control

It's official now, the democrats have control of congress.

This is my plea to each and everyone of them:
Please, for the next two and a half years, keep your pants zipped. Don't text message anyone about anything. Don't accept any trips, meals or tips. Watch your p's and your q's and your emails and your phone calls. Don't buy porn, don't hire prostitutes and don't surf the net to anything racier than CNN. Don't loan out your car, your cell phone or your laptop. Don't buy or sell any stock, or make any other financial arrangements. Don't have sex or engage in any sexual activity, including conversation, with anyone you're not legally married to. Even then, keep it private. Please, keep your nose clean. And everything else too.

What you do in the next two years will determine whether or not democrats are in the Whitehouse in 2008. Don't screw it up.